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  #1081  
Old 01-09-2016, 07:30 AM
venika venika is offline
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that moment when you get a lecture in being two-faced and living separate lives in and outside of school during school orientation. and you also happen to be someone who's super clever and funny and happy inside of school and an absolute wreck at home.

YES I GET THAT IT'S IMPORTANT TO BE HONEST BUT I LIVE TWO LIVES SO I SPARE PEOPLE FROM DEALING WITH MY SHIT. NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE CUT. NO ONE DESERVES THAT AND THE IRONIC THING IS THAT I'D PROBABLY GET IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL IF I SHOWED UP WITHOUT TIGHTS AND BAND-AIDS AND MY CUTS AND BURN SCARS WERE RIGHT THERE. OR IF I WENT AROUND TELLING PEOPLE HOW MUCH I WANT TO DIE. SOMETIMES LIVING TWO LIVES IS NECESSARY AND I DON'T APPRECIATE PEOPLE MAKING ME FEEL SHITTY ABOUT IT.

and then they finish it up with saying "well we have house games tomorrow bring your PE shorts cos it's gonna be in the seventies"

like wtf now it's seventy degrees in january and my legs haven't healed yet fuk
aaa that sucks abt school omg it's not a bad thing to act different in different places!!

also if you can, wear something like these instead of short shorts! and if you have to wear shorts, use foundation to cover up scars. if any injuries are still open or infected using makeup might not be a great idea though. but otherwise, foundation (with good coverage!!) :0
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  #1082  
Old 01-09-2016, 12:33 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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aaa that sucks abt school omg it's not a bad thing to act different in different places!!

also if you can, wear something like these instead of short shorts! and if you have to wear shorts, use foundation to cover up scars. if any injuries are still open or infected using makeup might not be a great idea though. but otherwise, foundation (with good coverage!!) :0
oh ok so for the shorts we actually have a super strict uniform that includes PE clothes so we have to wear specific shorts/sweatpants with the school logo on them ;_; anyway it actually didn't get that warm so I wore sweatpants and it was fine :3
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  #1083  
Old 01-10-2016, 07:45 AM
venika venika is offline
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oh ok so for the shorts we actually have a super strict uniform that includes PE clothes so we have to wear specific shorts/sweatpants with the school logo on them ;_; anyway it actually didn't get that warm so I wore sweatpants and it was fine :3
oooh that sucks we do too!! mine used to be shorts in my old school but they're sweatpants in my new school rip :^)

but im glad it turned out fine anyway !! B)
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  #1084  
Old 02-03-2016, 03:17 AM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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hi again

does anyone have opinions on scars? I mean here's the deal- I have burn marks on my arm that just look like birthmarks or an accident, and then some faded white cutting scars on my wrist. I don't really care about those. I mean, our uniform includes a blazer that's supposed to remain on at all times, but when I do take it off for PE I usually have bare arms. I don't care too much about that.

The problem is my legs. They are, to say the least, damaged. I'm hoping to get it all tattooed over when I get out of high school, but in the meantime I'm just stuck. For some reason the scars from a year or so ago immediately healed white, but these scars are huge and reddish/purple and raised above the skin (and yes they are healed already so I doubt they're infected). It's not something that I can pass off for anything else, either. I tell little kids I fell out of a tree or some shit, but even they know something's up. Funny story: my therapist saw one of my scars below my uniform skirt and said, "oh that's not very deep that should heal nicely". He thought it was still a fresh wound... it had been there for two months. I was like, "yeah... that's not healing anytime soon". But seriously, my thighs are basically just pools of scars all the way down to my knees, and it's just another super obvious sign that screams to the world "I AM FUCKED UP".

I don't really care if strangers see ms and judge me. Main prob is family, and also friends... my family isn't chill. My sister doesn't really understand but she's okay; the problem is my mom. She always wants to "talk about it" and try to help me emotionally, even though the scars are from the far past and I am not feeling those emotions rn. Also I hate being offered help from my parents because they don't understand and are just going to lecture me on how my body is a fucking temple and I am purposefully fucking it up. I don't even know what my dad thinks, mainly because he doesn't say anything. He notices them, and for some reason I think his policy on short skirts/shorts has gotten a little stricter since he noticed it. And then friends.

M&P- they are my loved ones and they don't care. I mean they care and want to help, but they know what's important and what's not when they're hanging out with me. Basically, they can talk to me and chill with me without constantly being uncomfortable because of my legs, even when I'm wearing shorts.

L- really wants to help. I don't know. I really disappointed her last time I started cutting again (I promised her I'd stop) but honestly, there wasn't much she could do. I just don't know how awkward it is for her to see my scars or if it's triggering or painful to think about it. idk I just don't want anyone to get triggered.

C- most judgmental person ever. I love him more than the stars above, but he is such a fucking dip and whenever he tries to "help" it comes across as super condescending and idiotic. Case in point: last year when I just had the white scars on the top of my thighs, I was sitting after PE in my shorts and they were exposed druring study hall, and then he leaned over and was like "u shouldn't cut yourself". and I was like wtf dude. and then later on he mentioned it again but idek what he said.

and J-.............i don't know. i don't even know. Kind of like L, I don't want him, or anyone, to be triggered by me. and then there's this super fucked up part of me that kind of wants him to see... idek i don't get it either and idk how to explain it lol


i guess what it comes down to is that I am proud of my scars when I am alone in my beautiful short sundresses and wedges at home. It's just when I leave the house that I get a little anxious. People, whether I like it or not, are going to judge me. Even if I'm my usual loud obnoxious bundle of smiles who makes dirty jokes and laughs at literally everything, that's all going to be invalidated. Am I going to stop wearing shorts altogether? No. Absolutely not. Because I am fucking done with my cutting and I refuse to let the scars from those times in my life affect my happiness now.

Does anyone have any thoughts? Do you find scars on other people triggering? Do you cover your own scars?
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  #1085  
Old 02-03-2016, 05:49 PM
Sparklez5858 Sparklez5858 is offline
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hi again

does anyone have opinions on scars? I mean here's the deal- I have burn marks on my arm that just look like birthmarks or an accident, and then some faded white cutting scars on my wrist. I don't really care about those. I mean, our uniform includes a blazer that's supposed to remain on at all times, but when I do take it off for PE I usually have bare arms. I don't care too much about that.

The problem is my legs. They are, to say the least, damaged. I'm hoping to get it all tattooed over when I get out of high school, but in the meantime I'm just stuck. For some reason the scars from a year or so ago immediately healed white, but these scars are huge and reddish/purple and raised above the skin (and yes they are healed already so I doubt they're infected). It's not something that I can pass off for anything else, either. I tell little kids I fell out of a tree or some shit, but even they know something's up. Funny story: my therapist saw one of my scars below my uniform skirt and said, "oh that's not very deep that should heal nicely". He thought it was still a fresh wound... it had been there for two months. I was like, "yeah... that's not healing anytime soon". But seriously, my thighs are basically just pools of scars all the way down to my knees, and it's just another super obvious sign that screams to the world "I AM FUCKED UP".

I don't really care if strangers see ms and judge me. Main prob is family, and also friends... my family isn't chill. My sister doesn't really understand but she's okay; the problem is my mom. She always wants to "talk about it" and try to help me emotionally, even though the scars are from the far past and I am not feeling those emotions rn. Also I hate being offered help from my parents because they don't understand and are just going to lecture me on how my body is a fucking temple and I am purposefully fucking it up. I don't even know what my dad thinks, mainly because he doesn't say anything. He notices them, and for some reason I think his policy on short skirts/shorts has gotten a little stricter since he noticed it. And then friends.

M&P- they are my loved ones and they don't care. I mean they care and want to help, but they know what's important and what's not when they're hanging out with me. Basically, they can talk to me and chill with me without constantly being uncomfortable because of my legs, even when I'm wearing shorts.

L- really wants to help. I don't know. I really disappointed her last time I started cutting again (I promised her I'd stop) but honestly, there wasn't much she could do. I just don't know how awkward it is for her to see my scars or if it's triggering or painful to think about it. idk I just don't want anyone to get triggered.

C- most judgmental person ever. I love him more than the stars above, but he is such a fucking dip and whenever he tries to "help" it comes across as super condescending and idiotic. Case in point: last year when I just had the white scars on the top of my thighs, I was sitting after PE in my shorts and they were exposed druring study hall, and then he leaned over and was like "u shouldn't cut yourself". and I was like wtf dude. and then later on he mentioned it again but idek what he said.

and J-.............i don't know. i don't even know. Kind of like L, I don't want him, or anyone, to be triggered by me. and then there's this super fucked up part of me that kind of wants him to see... idek i don't get it either and idk how to explain it lol


i guess what it comes down to is that I am proud of my scars when I am alone in my beautiful short sundresses and wedges at home. It's just when I leave the house that I get a little anxious. People, whether I like it or not, are going to judge me. Even if I'm my usual loud obnoxious bundle of smiles who makes dirty jokes and laughs at literally everything, that's all going to be invalidated. Am I going to stop wearing shorts altogether? No. Absolutely not. Because I am fucking done with my cutting and I refuse to let the scars from those times in my life affect my happiness now.

Does anyone have any thoughts? Do you find scars on other people triggering? Do you cover your own scars?
Hello. ^-^
Honestly, I'm quite proud of you for not cutting recently. I think your scars show that you may be a little damaged, but you can resist and that you can handle. I'd be proud to wear them in public. I'm so happy you're not letting this get in the way of your life so YOU GO.
But close/loved ones can be a whole different story. They know you and they've been with you, but if they insult you about this, please crumple them up and throw them into the pits of hell. It may be awkward and squeamish talking to together about this, but try to take some advice from this. I don't mean you have to get total cry fest or hippie or anything like that, put maybe just a few wise words could help, just to make them feel like they assured you. ^-^
As for me, seeing scars, they can be a bit scary at times. I can't look a deep, deep cuts (though I try to avoid staring at them anyway). I usually instantly get worried for that person. A friend once had cuts littered on their arms--and I knew it wasn't their cat--and I was a little taken aback. I didn't know what to say, though they didn't mention it and I haven't seen any fresh cuts.
Overall, I'm very proud of you (sorry if that sounds weird) and that you're letting go of this. Scars are things I tend not to look at and I usually focus about the positives and all.
Sorry for my blabbing. XD
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  #1086  
Old 02-03-2016, 11:14 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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Hello. ^-^
Honestly, I'm quite proud of you for not cutting recently. I think your scars show that you may be a little damaged, but you can resist and that you can handle. I'd be proud to wear them in public. I'm so happy you're not letting this get in the way of your life so YOU GO.
But close/loved ones can be a whole different story. They know you and they've been with you, but if they insult you about this, please crumple them up and throw them into the pits of hell. It may be awkward and squeamish talking to together about this, but try to take some advice from this. I don't mean you have to get total cry fest or hippie or anything like that, put maybe just a few wise words could help, just to make them feel like they assured you. ^-^
As for me, seeing scars, they can be a bit scary at times. I can't look a deep, deep cuts (though I try to avoid staring at them anyway). I usually instantly get worried for that person. A friend once had cuts littered on their arms--and I knew it wasn't their cat--and I was a little taken aback. I didn't know what to say, though they didn't mention it and I haven't seen any fresh cuts.
Overall, I'm very proud of you (sorry if that sounds weird) and that you're letting go of this. Scars are things I tend not to look at and I usually focus about the positives and all.
Sorry for my blabbing. XD
aw haha thank you. I talked to my mother about it and she agreed to stop flipping out so that's awesome.
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  #1087  
Old 02-09-2016, 07:15 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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I just walked to a burger joint/ice cream place in a short dress and it felt like people were nicer to me?? maybe I was just imagining things. but like no one said anything and people did smile and say hi so that was ok I guess idk how to feel about this
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  #1088  
Old 02-09-2016, 08:00 PM
Garrett Garrett is offline
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i Just Walked To A Burger Joint/ice Cream Place In A Short Dress And It Felt Like People Were Nicer To Me?? Maybe I Was Just Imagining Things. But Like No One Said Anything And People Did Smile And Say Hi So That Was Ok I Guess Idk How To Feel About This
=D =D =D That makes me really happy for you.
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  #1089  
Old 05-19-2016, 01:42 PM
Zelda Zelda is offline
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hi again

does anyone have opinions on scars? I mean here's the deal- I have burn marks on my arm that just look like birthmarks or an accident, and then some faded white cutting scars on my wrist. I don't really care about those. I mean, our uniform includes a blazer that's supposed to remain on at all times, but when I do take it off for PE I usually have bare arms. I don't care too much about that.

The problem is my legs. They are, to say the least, damaged. I'm hoping to get it all tattooed over when I get out of high school, but in the meantime I'm just stuck. For some reason the scars from a year or so ago immediately healed white, but these scars are huge and reddish/purple and raised above the skin (and yes they are healed already so I doubt they're infected). It's not something that I can pass off for anything else, either. I tell little kids I fell out of a tree or some shit, but even they know something's up. Funny story: my therapist saw one of my scars below my uniform skirt and said, "oh that's not very deep that should heal nicely". He thought it was still a fresh wound... it had been there for two months. I was like, "yeah... that's not healing anytime soon". But seriously, my thighs are basically just pools of scars all the way down to my knees, and it's just another super obvious sign that screams to the world "I AM FUCKED UP".

I don't really care if strangers see ms and judge me. Main prob is family, and also friends... my family isn't chill. My sister doesn't really understand but she's okay; the problem is my mom. She always wants to "talk about it" and try to help me emotionally, even though the scars are from the far past and I am not feeling those emotions rn. Also I hate being offered help from my parents because they don't understand and are just going to lecture me on how my body is a fucking temple and I am purposefully fucking it up. I don't even know what my dad thinks, mainly because he doesn't say anything. He notices them, and for some reason I think his policy on short skirts/shorts has gotten a little stricter since he noticed it. And then friends.

M&P- they are my loved ones and they don't care. I mean they care and want to help, but they know what's important and what's not when they're hanging out with me. Basically, they can talk to me and chill with me without constantly being uncomfortable because of my legs, even when I'm wearing shorts.

L- really wants to help. I don't know. I really disappointed her last time I started cutting again (I promised her I'd stop) but honestly, there wasn't much she could do. I just don't know how awkward it is for her to see my scars or if it's triggering or painful to think about it. idk I just don't want anyone to get triggered.

C- most judgmental person ever. I love him more than the stars above, but he is such a fucking dip and whenever he tries to "help" it comes across as super condescending and idiotic. Case in point: last year when I just had the white scars on the top of my thighs, I was sitting after PE in my shorts and they were exposed druring study hall, and then he leaned over and was like "u shouldn't cut yourself". and I was like wtf dude. and then later on he mentioned it again but idek what he said.

and J-.............i don't know. i don't even know. Kind of like L, I don't want him, or anyone, to be triggered by me. and then there's this super fucked up part of me that kind of wants him to see... idek i don't get it either and idk how to explain it lol


i guess what it comes down to is that I am proud of my scars when I am alone in my beautiful short sundresses and wedges at home. It's just when I leave the house that I get a little anxious. People, whether I like it or not, are going to judge me. Even if I'm my usual loud obnoxious bundle of smiles who makes dirty jokes and laughs at literally everything, that's all going to be invalidated. Am I going to stop wearing shorts altogether? No. Absolutely not. Because I am fucking done with my cutting and I refuse to let the scars from those times in my life affect my happiness now.

Does anyone have any thoughts? Do you find scars on other people triggering? Do you cover your own scars?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict View Post
I just walked to a burger joint/ice cream place in a short dress and it felt like people were nicer to me?? maybe I was just imagining things. but like no one said anything and people did smile and say hi so that was ok I guess idk how to feel about this
Good for you!
So to answer your questions; I don't find scars on other people triggering at all, and yes, I do cover my own scars to the point of obsession, but that's just me, i'm not comfortable with them, I feel branded by them, however you look like your already rather comfortable with your scars and that's great! Just keep doing you man~
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  #1090  
Old 05-19-2016, 09:13 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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Good for you!
So to answer your questions; I don't find scars on other people triggering at all, and yes, I do cover my own scars to the point of obsession, but that's just me, i'm not comfortable with them, I feel branded by them, however you look like your already rather comfortable with your scars and that's great! Just keep doing you man~
yayy okay that's good. I haven't heard a lot of feedback on whether other people can be triggered by my scars or no, so that's kinda awesome.

and also I hope you get more comfortable with your scars and your body. do whatevers most comfortable for u but try not to worry too much. the people that matter and gonna understand YOU not just your scars.
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