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  #31  
Old 08-29-2017, 03:59 PM
Zelda Zelda is offline
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I finally uncovered the reason Jailbreakers sucks so bad. It's because there's
no fricking conflict
involving the mainest main character, our dear Claira.
none.
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  #32  
Old 08-29-2017, 05:58 PM
Zelda Zelda is offline
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Warning: Word Vomit Ahead.

Under this new construction it has been discovered that Claira is a crappy main character because there is no real main conflict that can be carried by her. The main conflict of the series is being carried over by Kyra and Emely from the first book. In fact, Claira can't even be a good primary character, because again, there's no conflict.

But I really want her to be a primary character, her romance with Timothy is about the only romance subplot in the book, and I feel like making Claira a secondary character would (*pauses as pimple in ear makes weirdly airy squishing noise*) (ow) turn that subplot into a super behind-the-scenes thing.

I guess what needs to happen is Claira needs to become a secondary that really stands out. Maybe if I added some ~mystical magical~ understones/hints to the crash scene, that could act as foreshadowing. And then later, Kyra finds her, ect. ect. and instead of having most of the book from her 3rd person pov, there will only be important moments she spends away from the group, like when she gets the Glass stone.

Also her character arc really needs fixing. I mean, when I was writing I kept just chucking things at her in hopes that something would happen, and nothing ever did. Her arc is so flat. How do I fix that? How do I develop her? I want to see her make the transformation from the scared blind girl to the self-confident warrior. She needs to start making her own choices. She needs to start realizing that she doesn't have to control the things around her in order to have control. This means that I need to find a way to help her realize that, and the best way to do it is through character interactions right? When she panics on the helo-ride I just had her drugged, maybe instead I could have the other characters calm her down by talking to her. She could also learn from Timothy and Victor.
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Little boy inside my chest
Breathe some life into my bones
I've been lost and wandering
Down and out and missing home


(So beat a little louder now
I can't hear you anymore)
-Barns Courntey
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  #33  
Old 04-17-2018, 01:36 AM
Zelda Zelda is offline
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^^^
The solution is to not make Claira the mc. The solution is to make Quinn the mc for the entire series instead of bouncing about like a jackalope trying to change mc's every damned book.

The solution is to know how to handle ur own fricking characters ughhh
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Little boy inside my chest
Breathe some life into my bones
I've been lost and wandering
Down and out and missing home


(So beat a little louder now
I can't hear you anymore)
-Barns Courntey
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  #34  
Old 04-17-2018, 01:38 AM
Zelda Zelda is offline
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this is still open as a CC shop and whatever

it's not just here for me to word vomit at myself, u can use it too fam.
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Little boy inside my chest
Breathe some life into my bones
I've been lost and wandering
Down and out and missing home


(So beat a little louder now
I can't hear you anymore)
-Barns Courntey
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  #35  
Old 04-17-2018, 12:12 PM
SilverMoon SilverMoon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelda View Post
this is still open as a CC shop and whatever

it's not just here for me to word vomit at myself, u can use it too fam.
yo my dude sincerely sorry for being behind on betaing life is Busy
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  #36  
Old 04-17-2018, 12:13 PM
SilverMoon SilverMoon is offline
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i feel like i end up making repeat characters
also i feel like my chars aren't motivated enough
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they'd lead me to y o u
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  #37  
Old 04-17-2018, 05:42 PM
Zelda Zelda is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverMoon View Post
yo my dude sincerely sorry for being behind on betaing life is Busy
that's alright, take care of yoself dude

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverMoon View Post
i feel like i end up making repeat characters
also i feel like my chars aren't motivated enough
a good way to motivate charries is to explode the things they love. exploding things in their general vicinity also works well.
__________________
Little boy inside my chest
Breathe some life into my bones
I've been lost and wandering
Down and out and missing home


(So beat a little louder now
I can't hear you anymore)
-Barns Courntey
Reply With Quote
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