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  #19241  
Old 01-11-2017, 12:14 AM
july3girl july3girl is offline
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Originally Posted by Swallowtail View Post
hey not exactly sure how to help a ton with this because I'm super unsure with sexuality and stuff myself. but at my school there are a lot (like a lot a lot) of gay/bi girls. and from what I know they just don't worry about it much and change and all that the same as the straight girls. a lot of them had problems with that for a bit but most of them are perfectly comfortable now, and it also helps that a lot of people here are super body positive. but like really as long as you are respectful and don't mean anything bad or try to make anyone uncomfortable you should be fine!! and if you slip up it's ok, apologize to them and make sure that they know you're not trying to make advances and if they're a good person you'll be fine
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Originally Posted by meerkat View Post
as a ""weird lesbian"" myself, i honestly don't care at all about changing in front of other girls.... probably bc i'm not out of the closet yet so no one really knows/cares and i'm not really creepy about it (like i don't just stand around watching people change or try to get them to take off more clothes than necessary)

like idk why there's this stereotype that we can't handle ourselves around other girls in those settings, tbh i literally do not care even if there's a girl i'm attracted to (i still politely look away bc privacy is a good thing to have)
thx both of you a lot 'cause like my school is tiny and no one is openly not cis or straight and like everyone would be cool with it but like i don't think anyone actually knows an lgbtq very well so it's just weird. bleh anyway thanks
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  #19242  
Old 01-11-2017, 12:42 AM
Graystorm Graystorm is offline
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Listen you are NOT a bad person. nothing that happened to your mom is your fault and I know that from listening to you. you deserve to live a long happy life, and you hanging yourself will not fix anything I can promise you that. In fact it would most likely make more people feel awful and scared and sad and I know you don't want that. Please, so many people care about you so much and you do not deserve to die.
If she got to be a selfish mother fucker and opt out, leaving her ENTIRE family in ruins (I mean, her father can't even sleep at night because he's always thinking about her, or so I've been told) then why can't i. I'm a selfish person. I really am. I often times think about my self before others. Call in natural animal instincts that all humans have in them, call it what ever. But I'm a bitch to EVERYONE. I barely have any friends became NO ONE likes me. No one says, oh, she's a good person, she's someone I want around noonelikesmeandidontknowhowtochangeandidontknowifi evenwanttobutyesischouldbedead and for gods sake I could have saved her if I wanted to. Why didn't I call her back? Because I hated her. I hated her and I didn't want to talk to her. GODS I WAS SO MOTHER FUCKING SELFISH. Was? Whoops. I mean is. Now I regret my life. I regret everything because I couldn't take five minutes out of my exceedingly boring life to just call and say good night.

Now I'll never be able to say goodnight

Ya know, the last night I was with her, we got in a big fight right before I left. Nothing new. But when she when to hug me a kiss me goodbye and tell me that she loved me, I turned my head. I turned my head and mumbled 'love you too' I put so much venom into those words.

I deserve to die
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  #19243  
Old 01-11-2017, 11:51 AM
Owen-L Owen-L is offline
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tfw ur depression is either ignored or slyly pushed aside haha
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  #19244  
Old 01-11-2017, 01:22 PM
Frostblaze Frostblaze is offline
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godsimsuchabitchandabadpersonandidiservetobehungin mymothersplace
How could you have known what was going to happen? I know you can't help but blame yourself, but you must learn to forgive yourself and accept that sometimes you make mistakes. You are not a bad person because you're selfish. It can be hard to look past yourself when things are this bad, and no one holds it against you for that. You have every right to be focused on yourself at this time as long as you're trying to get help. We're here for you stormy.
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  #19245  
Old 01-11-2017, 05:17 PM
Graystorm Graystorm is offline
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How could you have known what was going to happen? I know you can't help but blame yourself, but you must learn to forgive yourself and accept that sometimes you make mistakes. You are not a bad person because you're selfish. It can be hard to look past yourself when things are this bad, and no one holds it against you for that. You have every right to be focused on yourself at this time as long as you're trying to get help. We're here for you stormy.
Madie, when people make mistakes they forgot to study for a test or maybe they broke a glass or they forgot their friends birthday. They don't kill their own fucking mom. I will never forgive myself
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  #19246  
Old 01-11-2017, 05:34 PM
Lily09 Lily09 is offline
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Lily, I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I can tell you that you are not to blame. I know you don't believe me but I hope one day you can.

here's what I do know about suicide though.

I started feeling suicidal around the same age as you. 11,12. I never thought I was going to make it to 18. Never. Even at 14, 15, even this past December, I was convinced I was going to kill myself before 18.

I'm not turning 18 quite yet. But i'm turning 17 tomorrow. I literally never even thought I'd make it to 17.

But i'm so glad I am. Even with my grades failing, even with constant flashbacks to the abuse and rape I went through, even with Donald Trump getting inaugurated 8 days after my birthday, I am so so so beyond happy to be alive and turning 17. I'm so thankful that I have managed to stay alive this long.

I have two cats I am extremely thankful for, I have friends who love and support me, there are so many places I haven't been to yet, so many concerts I haven't attended yet, so many movies and books I haven't seen, so many foods I haven't tasted and so many things I haven't done.

I don't know you very well but I care about you. If you EVER need to talk to me, my contact tab is ALWAYS open.
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  #19247  
Old 01-11-2017, 09:06 PM
Frostblaze Frostblaze is offline
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Originally Posted by Graystorm View Post
Madie, when people make mistakes they forgot to study for a test or maybe they broke a glass or they forgot their friends birthday. They don't kill their own fucking mom. I will never forgive myself
think about it this way. If you'd known, you would've picked up the phone. If you'd known, you would've called her to say goodnight. If you'd known within a few months she would kill herself, then you would have tried your best to keep her alive and tell her you love her and let her kiss you and hug you. But you didn't. That's the only difference. Can you blame yourself for not knowing? No. Recently my neighbor's son killed himself, and she feels thee same way you do. She thinks she's to blame. But the thing is, neither of you are. You had no idea, and she did all she could, but in the end, it came down to her son and your mom. We don't save other people's lives. We can only give them the strength to do so. And it's not your fault.
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  #19248  
Old 01-11-2017, 09:43 PM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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why would you give up your entire academic future for a person
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  #19249  
Old 01-11-2017, 10:09 PM
Lily09 Lily09 is offline
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ok... bitter brigade of kp (yall know Who)... do u ever silently agree or disagree w other bitter brigaders of kp. i know im not like Super Bitter but i still classify myself as part of the bitter brigade (that classification probably only exists in my mind lol) and find myself frequently nodding along w other bitter brigaders tho. sometimes i wanna tell some people to back off tho
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Last edited by Lily09; 01-11-2017 at 10:14 PM.
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  #19250  
Old 01-11-2017, 10:10 PM
Lily09 Lily09 is offline
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ok... bitter brigade of kp (yall know Who)... do u ever silently agree or disagree w other bitter brigaders of kp. i know im not like Super Bitter but i still classify myself as part of the bitter brigade (that classification probably only exists in my mind lol) and find myself frequently nodding along w other bitter brigaders tho. sometimes i wanna tell some people to back off tho
i love the bitter brigade tho cause i know yall will call me out.... or talk sht behind my back Smh its good tho

i didnt know where else to post lol
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Last edited by Lily09; 01-11-2017 at 10:14 PM.
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