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  #17811  
Old 09-20-2015, 09:29 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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^hey I don't want to quote your post because it's too long (nothing personal) but can I just say that really long lasting crushes are stupid and it's awesome to open up to new opportunities. :^D

also I'm excited because I have debate class tomorrow and yayyy
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  #17812  
Old 09-20-2015, 09:37 PM
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so kinda continuing off of my last post I'm in debate class at school which is fucking amazing because agghhhhhh we are doing policy debate and I get to talk really fast and argue with people so it's my dream come true 88DDD
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  #17813  
Old 09-20-2015, 10:55 PM
lvhamsters lvhamsters is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by july3girl View Post
I need to vent. You do not need to read, but I need to vent.

Do you ever associate certain songs with these different moments in your life? A crush, an event, a time you felt a deep emotion? Well I do. ANd it kinda sucks. I'll assign this song to a thing, a song that most of the time I really like, and then if the thing is sad whenever I hear it I just sit there listening, freakin crying, because I feel like I would be turning my back on that thing, that PART of me by skipping the song. Take "See You Again," that song in Fast and Furious or whatever; The later part of that spring I really liked that song, and one day I heard that my teacher, a guy who had been just the most awesome person ever, this really freaking awesome teacher whom I had had for three years, I hear that he is joining the marines. Of course, if that makes him happy, I'm cool with that, but I just-- That day my friend and this kid started singing that song, "See You Again," maybe doing the same thing I was, associating this bittersweet moment to a song to help cope. To assign a time for my sadness. When they started singing that, I cried, I'm not ashamed to admit. That teacher, he had been this beacon, this big rock in a sea storm, a person who had helped me out, helped our entire class out, had been this really important figure in our lives for three years. And now we had the news that he was joining the marines, and as amazing and noble as that is, I was scared. I'm still scared. He hasn't even started training yet, though he's moved to Boston to begin in January, but I already just... I break down whenever he's mentioned, whenever that song is mentioned, because I can't ignore the elephant in the room, that knowledge that he could die. That he would promise he would come back to see our graduation and not come. That he would leave us, in a much bigger way then he had by moving to Boston. So yeah, I assosciate songs to events, to people. And it sucks, but it's my way of trying to control my emotions.

"Say Something." Oh my frick I have so many-- I can't even. I will, but I just-- *scoffs* His name is Preston. If you look at my track, most of my poems are about him. Well guess what? They're not anymore. Preston, he, ah, I had a crush on him since second grade, and guess what? I'm a 7th grader. I mean, it's not like I liked him for five years STRAIGHT, but added up I'd say I was a lovesick puppy for him for about four years. Why? He was funny. He made me laugh, and he was friends with my friends. He plays basketball, and he's one of our school's few MVPs. But most of all, it was cause he was a flirt. He still is a flirt. And second grade me, well, I didn't understand that a whole lot. I just understood that I got all nervous around him. He joked around with me, and it was fun, cause none of the other guys did that. I guess eventually I just got into the habit, liking him, cause I guess for a while it was something that most of the time was steady, was something that I though would never change. But guess what? It did.
He dated one of my close friends, or at least 7th grade city dated, which is basically just texting. He broke with her over a text, which seemed a bit jerkish, as at the very least he could have called or facetimed her. His reasoning for breaking up with her was really stupid too. Anyway, that probably was the beggining, but I think the main thing that changed my mind was this new kid. T, I guess I'll call him. He's sweet, charming and he treats me like I'm a valuable person in sports, a trait not so often found at my school, as most of the girls just sit and talk. T and I played capture the flag at night, we were on the same team, and we partnered up, running around with our flashlights, relying on each other. He's just a lot more down to earth then Preston, and just a better person over all. But T didn't save me from the four year crush. I saved myself, it's just I had to see that there are way better people out there then Preston. Like T. Anyway, "Say Something." I assigned that in fifth grade, promising myself that when I decided to end it my imagined realationship with Preston, I'd listen and dance and sing to that song. I have memories of me making jokes about that song to him and a couple other people, and that just makes it worse, because I actually have a memory of that person with that song and it's not just my own. I still need to do that. I still need to sing and dance and listen to that song. I've promised myself that I'd write about it too, and post it, but now that I've vented I don't want to anymore. He's taken up too much of my track. I don't think you'll see him again.
While assigning songs can be a burden at times, they can also be really nice because they can remind you of great memories along with those bad ones. And who knows, maybe over time the bad memories will turn into something better or something that you can laugh about.
And also, I know what you mean about the whole marines thing and people leaving. My brother actually just left for the Marines boot camp this morning and it's a scary thing and it's also very different without him being here. But just remember that while it may be hard to lose him as a teacher and such, at least he's doing something that probably makes him happy. I know my brothers extremely excited because he's dreamed of doing this since he was four years old and saw the little toy soldiers in Toy Story. And also, you could get his mailing address before he leaves and get your class or friends together to send him letters or care packages. I'm sure he'd be very appreciative of that!
Anyways, long reply.
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  #17814  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:52 PM
smartgal00 smartgal00 is offline
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So there is like a Charter school in my school district, and I am a student there, but it just doesn't seem to be working right for me. Like when I went in a few weeks before the school year started, it sounded absolutely fantastic, and I was completely pumped for the year to start. But now, its just like I am only there for one class, but it is a complete and utter waste of my time for the other 6 classes I have there. Like there is this one ACT prep thing that as a Junior I am required to go to, but the goal of the class is to get us to a 22, and I got a 31 on the flipping ACT, like there is no way that this stupid class is going to help me get anywhere this year. And then I have to take this virtual classes, even though I was pretty certain when going into this meeting that I would have some teachers around me, and like there is no way that I want to be taking some classes via Skype, when I could just change my schedule around and go to my original school again, because I just feel like this school that I had such high hopes for is turning into what I was scared it would end up turning into. Its supposed to be a freaking school for kids who don't like how the rest of the public schools are going, but I'm doing more classes the public school way than I am the alternative way. And now I am a crying mess because so much stuff is just stressing me out, and its nearly 11 at night and I am completely exhausted but I just can't sleep. Damnit
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  #17815  
Old 09-21-2015, 03:25 AM
Lily09 Lily09 is offline
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Originally Posted by smartgal00 View Post
So there is like a Charter school in my school district, and I am a student there, but it just doesn't seem to be working right for me. Like when I went in a few weeks before the school year started, it sounded absolutely fantastic, and I was completely pumped for the year to start. But now, its just like I am only there for one class, but it is a complete and utter waste of my time for the other 6 classes I have there. Like there is this one ACT prep thing that as a Junior I am required to go to, but the goal of the class is to get us to a 22, and I got a 31 on the flipping ACT, like there is no way that this stupid class is going to help me get anywhere this year. And then I have to take this virtual classes, even though I was pretty certain when going into this meeting that I would have some teachers around me, and like there is no way that I want to be taking some classes via Skype, when I could just change my schedule around and go to my original school again, because I just feel like this school that I had such high hopes for is turning into what I was scared it would end up turning into. Its supposed to be a freaking school for kids who don't like how the rest of the public schools are going, but I'm doing more classes the public school way than I am the alternative way. And now I am a crying mess because so much stuff is just stressing me out, and its nearly 11 at night and I am completely exhausted but I just can't sleep. Damnit
holy crap im so sorry you dont like it. can you switch back to public school still? i actually just switched out from traditional public school to hybrid/distance education charter school (mostly online, but once a week i go in to the building for around 6 hrs.) i absolutely love it and all the teachers are extremely nice and supportive. however i know its not for everyone, and if its doing more harm than good, you should try to switch. if its still early enough in the school year, they might let you. good luck!
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  #17816  
Old 09-21-2015, 09:46 AM
smartgal00 smartgal00 is offline
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Originally Posted by Lily09 View Post
holy crap im so sorry you dont like it. can you switch back to public school still? i actually just switched out from traditional public school to hybrid/distance education charter school (mostly online, but once a week i go in to the building for around 6 hrs.) i absolutely love it and all the teachers are extremely nice and supportive. however i know its not for everyone, and if its doing more harm than good, you should try to switch. if its still early enough in the school year, they might let you. good luck!
Its more or less I'm barely in classes because I am too advanced for most of the other people in the school, so I'm sorta forced to do classes online without a teacher in front of for at least some point of my week. Thanks for the advice Elliot, it was really appreciated and I will probably figure out a new system.
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  #17817  
Old 09-21-2015, 05:27 PM
Lena Lena is offline
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@emotions
please stop
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  #17818  
Old 09-21-2015, 05:48 PM
HazelHope HazelHope is offline
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Originally Posted by Lena View Post
@emotions
please stop
And there's my life summed up in three words.
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  #17819  
Old 09-21-2015, 09:08 PM
Garrett Garrett is offline
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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT.

so today is my birthday. and it has been awesome. ( you know besides school, but I just cut out those seven hours from the day )

and i found out that because I was signed up with the starbucks app, I got to get a free thing from Starbucks for free. as like a birthday reward or something... and it didn't matter if it was large or how many of whatever it had in it. it was awesome.

and just magical. like free coffee. *wins at life*
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  #17820  
Old 09-21-2015, 09:55 PM
maxi maxi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garrett View Post
GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT.

so today is my birthday. and it has been awesome. ( you know besides school, but I just cut out those seven hours from the day )

and i found out that because I was signed up with the starbucks app, I got to get a free thing from Starbucks for free. as like a birthday reward or something... and it didn't matter if it was large or how many of whatever it had in it. it was awesome.

and just magical. like free coffee. *wins at life*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GARRETT

oh lol I don't like coffee but I do love Starbucks yuuum.
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