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  #1781  
Old 05-04-2015, 11:04 AM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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one of the guys from our youth group that I HAVE ALMOST NO ATTACHMENT TO BUT WE WERE GOING SKATING AND EATING CAKE was, like, staring at me for a while. and then he tried to talk and be kinda funny and he didn't know how to skate and eventually he just had me pull him back to the counter to return the skates and he kept me updated on whatever Kari was doing and he wouldn't stop talking to me on the ride back. and it was kinda cool, but i also think it was really weird/uncomfortable. like, i would roll with it, but dude if u have a crush on me, i'm not feeling it. also this kinda reassured my crushes on girls bc i can't exactly see myself in a romantic relationship with guys. idk, this is so weird and i have yet to figure out a lot of stuff, but so far i seem to like almost every gender except guys :I why.....

also, i have almost no heterosexual/heteroromantic ppl in my stories anymore. it's either lesbians, or lesbians. or genderless couples who would technically be lesbians. so ye. i can't tell anybody bout them TT-TT
the same thing happened with me in swim practice except he flat-out told my sister, and it just confirmed my aro-ness and everything. like, i LOVE platonic cuddles and stuff and i get squishes a lot, but idek i just can't picture myself developing those feelings most of the time, but i would be down for it if anyone asked and was okay with me not being attracted to them, especially if i am squishing on them already. and one moment im like "ew romance is boring" and then i switch to "eh actually it's kinda cute and i want to have that" and it's so freaking weird. yeah i most likely am quoiromantic but more on the aro side and WHY THE HELL DO WE NEED LABELS ANYWAYS AND WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LIKE WHO THEY LIKE OMG AT THIS RATE I'LL JUST LABEL MYSELF AS ASEXUAL AND QUEER AND LEAVE IT AT THAT

ALSO WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROMANTIC ATTRACTION AND SQUISHES BECAUSE I DON'T FREAKING KNOW ANYMORE SO I AM MOST CERTAINLY QUOIROMANTIC BUT WHO CARES I'LL JUST SAY I'M ARO FOR COMING OUT PURPOSES AND BECAUSE THAT FEELS RIGHT SOMEHOW. AND I'M ALSO AT THE POINT WHERE I DON'T REALLY LABEL MY CHARACTERS THAT MUCH EITHER, LIKE I HAVE A GUY WHO MOSTLY LIKES GIRLS BUT HE ENDS UP WITH A GUY AND I'M NOT EVEN GONNA SAY HE'S HETEROFLEXIBLE OR BI OR WHATEVER BC IT DOESN'T MATTER AS LONG AS HE'S NOT AN ASSHOLE (which he isn't) ^.^

Last edited by meerkat; 05-04-2015 at 09:00 PM. Reason: MY. FREAKING. WEIRD. TYPO. HANDS.
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  #1782  
Old 05-14-2015, 10:48 PM
CosmoCat CosmoCat is offline
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Default a rant about personal conflicted feelings

so i was thinking about how same-sex couples raising a child is not considered a nuclear family, but in some ways people don't consider it a normal or healthy family either.

and i'm sitting here like >8I and a divorced family IS normal? like, having two parents separate and basically lose part of their maturity and try to distance themselves FROM SOMEONE THEY HAD A SEXUAL AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH WHILE STILL TRYING TO "NORMALLY" RAISE THE KIDS THEY HAD WITH THIS PERSON is a totally normal thing? It's acceptable to break off a marriage like that and to have an ex-spouse? It's okay for kids to live two different lives because they're with one parent for part of their life, and the other for the next, but they can never join the two because these two adults can't get their crap together? And what if they remarry? Is it normal for the kids to have four parents but still be considered part of your average, everyday nuclear family?

like what the hell. a kid can have 4 parents and a number of siblings who are basically strangers, but they can't be raised by a guy and a guy who are in love. there is something wrong with that. and it seems to me that the people who think same sex relationships are unhealthy are the ones with truly unhealthy relationships! they fight or bicker or do scary things in the name of "love" even though it's emotionally and physically detrimental but HEAVEN FORBID TWO GIRLS RAISE A CHILD WHAT WOULD THE GOOD LORD THINK OF THAT

and speaking of which, i found this kewl bible passage the other day pretty much concerning homosexuality ( and for the life of me, i cannot find it now. i didn't think to write it down and i've even tried to google it but i don't know where it went) anyways, the message i got from it was that it was not the sexual acts in themselves that were wrong, but it was when the people had turned away from God and committed other well-known sins that they fell out of favor with the Lord. so really it wasn't that, it was all the other stuff they weren't supposed to do that they did.

okay, i'll shut up now, but i'm really just ticked at this whole divorce situation. like, i thought i would get to hang out with dad and my grandma, but she had to fly back earlier this week. and dad's going three hours away to chaperon for a choir thing. and mom doesn't want him here to use my laptop and wifi because THEY'RE BOTH FUNCTIONING ADULTS WHO CAN'T GET ALONG AT ALL AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE LOOKED EACH OTHER IN THE EYE AND SAID "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE" LIKE THEY OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE WORSE SO SCREW THAT

okay, end of rant. this should probably be on a different thread TT^TT
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  #1783  
Old 05-15-2015, 07:27 PM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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so i was thinking about how same-sex couples raising a child is not considered a nuclear family, but in some ways people don't consider it a normal or healthy family either.

and i'm sitting here like >8I and a divorced family IS normal? like, having two parents separate and basically lose part of their maturity and try to distance themselves FROM SOMEONE THEY HAD A SEXUAL AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH WHILE STILL TRYING TO "NORMALLY" RAISE THE KIDS THEY HAD WITH THIS PERSON is a totally normal thing? It's acceptable to break off a marriage like that and to have an ex-spouse? It's okay for kids to live two different lives because they're with one parent for part of their life, and the other for the next, but they can never join the two because these two adults can't get their crap together? And what if they remarry? Is it normal for the kids to have four parents but still be considered part of your average, everyday nuclear family?

like what the hell. a kid can have 4 parents and a number of siblings who are basically strangers, but they can't be raised by a guy and a guy who are in love. there is something wrong with that. and it seems to me that the people who think same sex relationships are unhealthy are the ones with truly unhealthy relationships! they fight or bicker or do scary things in the name of "love" even though it's emotionally and physically detrimental but HEAVEN FORBID TWO GIRLS RAISE A CHILD WHAT WOULD THE GOOD LORD THINK OF THAT

and speaking of which, i found this kewl bible passage the other day pretty much concerning homosexuality ( and for the life of me, i cannot find it now. i didn't think to write it down and i've even tried to google it but i don't know where it went) anyways, the message i got from it was that it was not the sexual acts in themselves that were wrong, but it was when the people had turned away from God and committed other well-known sins that they fell out of favor with the Lord. so really it wasn't that, it was all the other stuff they weren't supposed to do that they did.

okay, i'll shut up now, but i'm really just ticked at this whole divorce situation. like, i thought i would get to hang out with dad and my grandma, but she had to fly back earlier this week. and dad's going three hours away to chaperon for a choir thing. and mom doesn't want him here to use my laptop and wifi because THEY'RE BOTH FUNCTIONING ADULTS WHO CAN'T GET ALONG AT ALL AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE LOOKED EACH OTHER IN THE EYE AND SAID "FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE" LIKE THEY OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE WORSE SO SCREW THAT

okay, end of rant. this should probably be on a different thread TT^TT
ohmygosh i really wish i could help you out here but i honestly can't relate so i'll try my best, alright? <3 (this isn't as long as i wanted it to be because i have a lot of work to do)

i think i've only discussed this with one person outside my family, and it might seem weird and everything, but my parents actually had an arranged marriage. my mom literally felt nothing for my dad (ps she's aro/ace spectrum). and it's so weird for me because i've heard of other people's parents hugging each other before bed and being in love everything, but i've never seen my parents be affectionate with each other. not even once. like after my dad came back from a three month trip, he literally just hugged mom for like two seconds and that's the closest i've ever seen them. (it's almost worse with my aunt bc she apparently screamed and protested and threatened to run away when she had to get married, but so far nothing's happened to her and my uncle and cousins.) it's like my parents are just coworkers and taking care of my sis and me is a business plan or something, and they didn't elect to do it but they might as well.

mom tries to make us act like a "normal family" but we still can't settle on a definition of "normal". like, there's a mom and a dad and two daughters and a grandmother who happens to live with us, and that sounds pretty normal, but it doesn't feel right for some reason bc none of us can love each other like we're "supposed to" or something (and then there's the crazy shit that happens and you know already and i don't wanna talk about it now). we have almost no family bonding time and spend too much time fighting and screaming at each other and just barely getting along but somehow dealing with it. and apparently this is more "normal" than two girls or two guys who genuinely love each other and raise children together because they love each other, not because their relatives told them to.

basically, the definition of a "normal family" is stupid and outdated and needs to be erased at once, but there's only so much i can do. i think i might have seen the quote once before but i forget what exactly it said, but i remember the general idea and that's pretty much right. and religion should not be used as an excuse to hate people. ever. at all. so please allow me to fight that idiot who told you that same-gender couples aren't normal yet divorce is completely healthy. they don't know what they're talking about.


in other news, practically all my lit assignments now are about how aromantic i am and i have passed the point of caring what anyone thinks about it. i actually wrote "romantic relationships are overrated in today's society, especially from the viewpoint of those who do not feel romantic attraction and are constantly told that they're broken"

Last edited by meerkat; 05-15-2015 at 08:32 PM.
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  #1784  
Old 05-17-2015, 07:59 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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I'm not even going to start talking about the fact that I may get suspended for talking about my sexuality. :3 but yeah.
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  #1785  
Old 05-17-2015, 08:00 PM
BookKitty BookKitty is offline
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I'm not even going to start talking about the fact that I may get suspended for talking about my sexuality. :3 but yeah.
oh my god really what happened
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  #1786  
Old 05-17-2015, 08:22 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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oh my god really what happened
lol what happens when you are a queer girl in the heart of texas in a small classical conservative school and you happen to announce your sexuality in the middle of lunch and get warned about it and then mention it again to a friend and then someone gets nosy and reports you. :)
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  #1787  
Old 05-18-2015, 12:45 AM
BookKitty BookKitty is offline
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lol what happens when you are a queer girl in the heart of texas in a small classical conservative school and you happen to announce your sexuality in the middle of lunch and get warned about it and then mention it again to a friend and then someone gets nosy and reports you.
that's screwed up srsly. im sorry.
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  #1788  
Old 05-18-2015, 07:11 AM
LaurenM LaurenM is offline
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I'm not even going to start talking about the fact that I may get suspended for talking about my sexuality. :3 but yeah.
can that possibly be reported? like probably no one will care but is there a law regarding this
texas fucking sucks
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  #1789  
Old 05-19-2015, 07:11 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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can that possibly be reported? like probably no one will care but is there a law regarding this
texas fucking sucks
haha probably not in texas and anyway my parents think it's totally legit so there's no way I could ever raise a cry about it
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  #1790  
Old 05-22-2015, 08:31 PM
CosmoCat CosmoCat is offline
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i'm trying to figure out my orientations and stuff and i think so far i'm Asexual Demi-Biromantic. which so far fits me, but at the same time it sucks because that means i'm Ace, Demi, and Bi. that's like asking to be ignored/invalidated/invisible. TTuTT
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