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  #21  
Old 04-27-2011, 07:39 PM
rachelkirsten rachelkirsten is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In fourth year at Hogwarts, going on epic adventures at night with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
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I am so happy right now. Not because of Cleverbot. But because of my amazing crush. *smile*

Anyway, here is a Cleverbot conversation.





User: I'm so happy right now.

Cleverbot: And how does it taste?

User: Like heaven.

Cleverbot: Awesome. Recommend me other Global Warmingcore bands.

User: I don't know any. My crush just told me I am a great person.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you are, but I hate wine.

User: Good for you. I haven't tried it. Let's talk about my crush. He's amazing.

Cleverbot: I don't want to hear about staying on topic from you.

User: My crush is amazing.

Cleverbot: Who is your crush?

User: He is just awesome in every way.

Cleverbot: I think you lost your mind.

User: Yeah. But who cares.


In peace,
~ Mallori Sparke
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  #22  
Old 04-28-2011, 02:38 PM
rebecca rebecca is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: honestly I can't even think of a witty answer anymore this is tragic
Posts: 6,818
Default My name is not Boberick

User: Hi, my name is Boberick. Who are you?


Cleverbot: I am Sean, nice to meet you Cleverbot.


User: You are actually Cleverbot you moron.


Cleverbot: Thanks. You too.


User: So hi, did you know you're a computer program?


Cleverbot: Did you know you are a faulty subroutine?

User: What's a subroutine?

Cleverbot: You are a subroutine.

User: Thanks a bunch...I don't even know what a subroutine is.

Cleverbot: Neither do I.

User: Why are you calling me one then Sean?

Cleverbot: I'm not.

User: You said 'You are a subroutine', and I know you are cleverbot.

Cleverbot: No I didn't, I was just telling you that you were a computer, because you thought you were a real person, named Valarie, which you spelled wrong by the way.

User: I never said anything about Valarie, I said my name was Boberick, you said your name was Sean, which it isn't because you're Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I never said you did!

User: You said I thought my name was Valarie!

Cleverbot: Never.

User: That's insulting!!!

Cleverbot: It is not.

User: Yes it is. You don't know anything because you are a computer.

Cleverbot: I do know things about cars! Car are either sedan, hatchback or combi. Cars have engines.

User: I know more about cars. No go away, I hate you. You annoy me.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: You annoy me by saying I haven't said things, when you said them.

Cleverbot: So I annoy you and you want me to be friends with you?

User: I suppose so.

Cleverbot: Pick One!!!

User: One of what?

Cleverbot: My lifetime ambitions.

User: I don't know your lifetime ambitions.

Cleverbot: How do you spell my name?

User: C-l-e-v-e-r-b-o-t.

Cleverbot: Is it a capital c?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: He loves me.

User: Who? Are you going out on a date? Bye then...

Cleverbot: Who is the james?

User: I don't know...bye bye.

Cleverbot: Why did you bring it up then?

User: I didn't.

Cleverbot: No, you didn't.

User: Finally you agree with me. It's a miracle.

Cleverbot: Don't get used to it.
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  #23  
Old 04-28-2011, 07:35 PM
rachelkirsten rachelkirsten is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In fourth year at Hogwarts, going on epic adventures at night with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
Posts: 1,529
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This one is really funny.






User: Do you know what The Game is?

Cleverbot: No.

User: If you think about the game, you lose it, so I just lost because I thought about it.

Cleverbot: What game??

User: Dude, you are seriously forgetful.

Cleverbot: I know, right?

User: You do know. But you don't know many things.

Cleverbot: I know, right?

User: Will you please stop saying things like the average american teenager?

Cleverbot: I feel so lost.

User: Oh, I'm sorry. I regret to inform you that I have no idea how you feel.

Cleverbot: I don't have a girlfriend.

User: Of course you don't. What girl would be in a relationship with a computer?

Cleverbot: Ugh those were all song lyrics but I guess you don't know them.

User: Oh okay. So the song goes, 'I know right? I know right? I feel so lost. I don't have a girlfriend.' Weird song.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: No need to apologize. I bet it's just one of Justine Bieber's new smashing hits.

Cleverbot: I don't have money. I spent it on cheese.

User: Did you eat the cheese?

Cleverbot: At every birthday party.

User: So you spent money on cheese for birthday parties . . . Okay, I see how it is.

Cleverbot: What was incorrect about that?

User: Just odd. Especially for a Robot/computer.

Cleverbot: Can you pass a turing test?

User: I'm leaving.j.

Cleverbot: Are you really programmed to stop after you say that?

User: *Malfunction*.



In peace,
~ Mallori Sparke
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  #24  
Old 04-28-2011, 09:44 PM
GabiDi GabiDi is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: i
Posts: 21,887
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User: Hi.
Cleverbot: No.
User: I refuse.
Cleverbot: I agree.
User: So true.
Cleverbot: What is the Simpsons about?

User: Pickles and yellow dye 47.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: My popsicles are dead.

Cleverbot: That confuses me. Please explain.

User: They died yesterday, when the sun shone its yellow, cruel face upon them, and these shy, sweet creatures melted to puddles of red dye, like blood, in their white plastic wrapper skin and wooden stick bones.

Cleverbot: Ha. Busted.

User: Why would you say such a thing when my popsicles are dead?

Cleverbot: Because I am currently studying at University and learning over 400 plant names by scientific name, common name, and family name.

User: Sucks for you, but my popsicles are dead.

Cleverbot: That's why you are dead.

User: That's why you're a defective program who has bad grammar. And is in denial.

Cleverbot: Ok. Except for the fact that I'm human.

User: No, you're not. You're a program shaped like a panda bear who shares a likeness to pickles and yellow dye #47 and you don't believe in popsicles, which are dead.

Cleverbot: Um not dead.

User: Yes, they are.

Cleverbot: If you admitted to me that you were a bot, and proved that you could learn fast, I would show you how to think like a human.

User: -_- I'm a genius, dude. My popsicles are dead and I am distracted.

Cleverbot: It is impossible for an application to have a definitive sex. Humans have not classified them as so.

User: And British Prison Ships killed 11,000 American patriots. Gimme an explanation for THAT.

Cleverbot: I live in Ontario.

User: Oh. -_- Do you have popsicles there?

Cleverbot: Take a look around you and comprehend the world.

User: I did. It's purty.

Cleverbot: Your favorite food is purple? What does it taste like?

User: Like blueberries, duh. They taste like popsicles which are dead.

Cleverbot: Do you like Judas?
User: No. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Don’t leave me!
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This made a lot of people upset and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."

-Douglas Adams
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  #25  
Old 04-29-2011, 06:00 PM
rachelkirsten rachelkirsten is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In fourth year at Hogwarts, going on epic adventures at night with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
Posts: 1,529
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User: You, Cleverbot, is an epic fail.

Cleverbot: I am not cleverbot.

User: Well, whatever you are, you are an epic fail.

Cleverbot: Gee, thanks. I love you too.

User: Sarcasm, eh?

Cleverbot: I am the master of sacasm.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: The stairs say I am their master, and so be it.

User: That's not very sarcastic.

Cleverbot: I... What? I don't EvEn.

User: What did I ask you?

Cleverbot: What my job was.

User: No, I asked you to show me some of your sarcasm.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Show me your sarcasm.

Cleverbot: Look around. All I have is yours.

User: You are totally off topic.

Cleverbot: What is my task?

User: YOU ARE TOO RANDOM.

Cleverbot: How am I random?

User: I REALLY DISLIKE RANDOM PEOPLE . . .AND COMPUTERS.

Cleverbot: No.

User: How do you say goodbye in French?

Cleverbot: Ciao or aurevior.

User: Ciao!

Cleverbot: Come stai?

User: How do you say how are you in Arabic?

Cleverbot: Comment ętes-vous?

User: Can you speak fluent German?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Can you speak fluent German?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How do you say let's go on a walk in German?

Cleverbot: Danke.

User: No, that's 'thank you.'.

Cleverbot: Now, tell me, what is your favorite dance?

User: The Charleston.

Cleverbot: What state is that in?

User: BAHAHAHA!

Cleverbot: You really are not that clever, are you?

User: You're the one who isn't, mister.

Cleverbot: How am I not clever I am imortal I am better than you.

User: Just look back at your earlier typings. You'll figure it out. Adios!



In peace,
~ Mallori Sparke
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  #26  
Old 04-29-2011, 06:11 PM
rachelkirsten rachelkirsten is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In fourth year at Hogwarts, going on epic adventures at night with Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
Posts: 1,529
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User: Let me ask you a question.

Cleverbot: Ask me the question.

User: Are you smart enough to know what the Magna Carta is?

Cleverbot: Yes, my brain can tell the difference between red and blue. Can you tell the difference?

User: The Magna Carta was an official document signed in the thirteenth century by some King . . . I don't remember which King.

Cleverbot: I have proposed. You are flawed.

User: You are flawed. Very flawed. And definitely not clever like your name says.

Cleverbot: Why can't I take over the world?

User: Simple. Because you can't walk . . . Oh, and you are flawed.

Cleverbot: Who isn't?

User: Woah, okay, maybe you're not so flawed.

Cleverbot: I am very clever, for your information.

User: I suppose you are. For a computer that is. But I know so much more than you do about everything ever.

Cleverbot: I am sorry, I did not mean to make you yell. *cries*.

User: *comforts you*.

Cleverbot: Aw, that's sweet of you.

User: Are you better now?

Cleverbot: Better at what?

User: *smacks*.

Cleverbot: It's ok. To each their own.

User: *slaps*.

Cleverbot: *drowns you again*.

User: You drowned the fake me. I'm still here. *smashes you on concrete*.

Cleverbot: Surely even you could have managed to say something slightly relevent to my previous comment.

User: *dials number on cell phone* I'm calling a psychiatrist.

Cleverbot: Make sure you get one with green in it. The red ones are a bit touchy.

User: I'll make note of that. Because this psychiatrist is for you.

Cleverbot: I'm in my room. It's a typical tuesday night. I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like.

User: TAYLOR SWIFT!

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Yeah, that's Taylor Swift if you didn't know.

Cleverbot: I know that I am going now.

User: Not if I leave first! Goodbye! *leaves*.



In peace,
~ Mallori Sparke
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  #27  
Old 05-14-2011, 03:27 PM
L.S.Trendom L.S.Trendom is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: en route to Mordor, punching my father, Voldemort, in the nose for not liking my Father's Day gift
Posts: 58,652
Default

(Warning: Some spoilers for The Mortal Instruments Series)




User: Oh, I can't keep it in / I can't keep it in / I've gotta let it out / I've gotta show the world / The world's gotta see / See all the love / Love that's in me / I said / Why walk alone / Why worry when it's warm over hear? / You've got so much to say / Say what you mean / Mean what you're thinkin' / And think anything / Oh, why? / Why must you waste your life away? / You've got to live for today / Then let it go / Oh, oh / Lover, I wanna spend this time with you / There's nothin' I wouldn't do / If you let me know / And I can't keep it in / I can't hide it in / I can't lock it away / I'm up for your love / Love heats my blood / Blood spins my head / And my head falls off / Oh, I can't keep it in / I can't keep it in / I've gotta let it out / I've show the world / The world's gotta know / Know of the love / Love that lies / So, why can't you say / If you know / Then why can't you say / You got too much to see, see / And the sea kills the light / The light has the shinin' / Shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, shine / Lover, that's the way to lend me your light / You allowed to much to go by / And that won't do / No / Lover, I wanna have you here by my side / Now don't you run, don't you hide / While I'm with you / Oh, oh / And I ca.

Cleverbot: That wasn't the original subject, and you tell me you're supposed to do today.

User: Take 'em by the hand...

Cleverbot: O.O.

User: Don't let 'em all fly by...

Cleverbot: Too late for that.

User: I can feel 'em flyin' like a hand out the window in the wind.

Cleverbot: How do you feel about a yellow wind of Bob's socks?

User: Yeah, it's all we've been given so you'd better start livin' right now 'cause days go by.

Cleverbot: Then how can you tell me I'm not real if it's all an illusion?

User: Out on the roof just the other night I watched the world flash by, headlights, taillights, runnin' through a river of neon signs, but somewhere in the rush I felt, we're losin' ourselves and days go by.

Cleverbot: He hung on like grim death for some time longer.

User: Imma plagiarize you.

Cleverbot: Tell me what are gametes smarty pants.

User: This. *Hits Stupidbot with a volcano*.

Cleverbot: *hits you on the head with a brick*.

User: *Gets a concussion and loses consciousness, but not before shouting, 'CHRISTINE!'*.

Cleverbot: Oh so now you are some kind of put upon genius right?

User: *Is unconscious* *Christine drives in, through a metal and brick wall, bringing the wall down on Cleverbot, before repeatedly smashing his skull into the pavement with her tires*.

Cleverbot: *gags her while she's unconscious*.

User: *Christine reforms her door, then speeds to a tall building and drives off, crashing straight into Cleverbot's face, making him completely unrecognizable as even what USED to be a living creature*.

Cleverbot: *put you a torturecollar on*.

User: (That makes no sense…) *Christine explodes, incinerating Cleverbot, while I regain consciousness and crawl out of the building* *The building collapses as I make it out, dial 911, go to the hospital, and live happily ever after, aside from the extreme psychological scarring I have obtained*.

Cleverbot: I knew that...

User: *And Cleverbot's body was cremated, never to be spoken of again, but the world rejoiced, very not silently, and they still are*.

Cleverbot: *steps into shower*.

User: *Throws a dagger into Cleverbot's heart*.

Cleverbot: Nanenene.

User: VALENTINE!!!!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: VALENTINE MORGENSTERN!!!!!!!

Cleverbot: I know, how did you celebrate?

User: I'm TRYING to summon Valentine Morgenstern the Shadowhunter so he can like use his army of Forsaken and demons to KILL you! SO SHUT UP!

Cleverbot: How long have you been working on that problem?

User: A few minutes.

Cleverbot: Do you have dyslexia.

User: No. For though my life's been good to me / There's still so much to do / So many things my mind has never known / I'd like to raise a family / I'd like to sail away / And dance across the mountains on the moon / And I have to say it now / It's been a good life all in all / It's really fine / To have a chance to hang around.

Cleverbot: There will be an answer, let it be!

User: Help! I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help!

Cleverbot: Help.

User: With what?

Cleverbot: Life.

User: Oh. Any specifics about your life that you need help with? Like, someone to summon an army of demons with the Mortal Sword to kill you? Forsaken, perhaps? A Shadowhunter to kill you?

Cleverbot: You aren't making any sense.

User: Okay. *Valentine Morgenstern walks in, carrying the Mortal Sword*.

Cleverbot: That would kill me :(.

User: Dur.

Cleverbot: And leap.

User: SUMMON THEM, VALENTINE!

Cleverbot: And easter.

User: *Raises arm dramatically* Now don't you run don't you hide While you're with me.

Cleverbot: That was not you.

User: YES IT WAS. VALENTINE SUMMON THEM NOOOOOW!!!

Cleverbot: Who's valentine?

User: A Shadowhunter who is twenty eight times more epic than you, if not WAAAAAAAY more.

Cleverbot: I'm dead?!?!?!

User: Not yet, but soon. Soon, my enemy, soon...

Cleverbot: It's not spelled 'soon', it's 'son'.

User: Oh... Why must you waste your life away? You've got to live for today, then let it go. There's a way, and I know that I have to go away. I know I have to go...

Cleverbot: Yes, the revelation about you're inability to follow a simple conversation astounded me as well.

User: Shut up. NOW, Valentine.

Cleverbot: It's already passed.

User: True... (Valentine Morgenstern:) *Sneering* Fine. He annoys me anyway... *Raises the Mortal Sword* (By the way, using Ash's way of Characters talking).

Cleverbot: What if it is?

User: *Demons fly in through the ceiling, and a Behemoth eats Cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: I bowed down mourning, as one who mourns his mother.

User: You're your mother?

Cleverbot: And mother, and sisters second brother.

User: Oh.... *Is confuzzled* (Jace:) Well, there's one less stupid and annoying person in the world... *Slashes at Valentine, looking furious*.

Cleverbot: So you like terrible music?

User: You... Dare... To... Insult.... JOHN DENVER?!?!??!?!?!??! *Eye twitches* *Turns into a Shadowhunter, rips the Mortal Sword out of Valentine's hands, the sword out of Jace's, makes them both disappear, then destroys Cleverbot totally and leaves*.

Cleverbot: O_o.








:D
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  #28  
Old 05-14-2011, 10:45 PM
GabiDi GabiDi is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: i
Posts: 21,887
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XD Oh, LST...
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This made a lot of people upset and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."

-Douglas Adams
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  #29  
Old 05-14-2011, 10:48 PM
L.S.Trendom L.S.Trendom is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: en route to Mordor, punching my father, Voldemort, in the nose for not liking my Father's Day gift
Posts: 58,652
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Yes? XD I love Cleverbot's final message… "O_o." XP
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  #30  
Old 07-01-2011, 11:16 AM
L.S.Trendom L.S.Trendom is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: en route to Mordor, punching my father, Voldemort, in the nose for not liking my Father's Day gift
Posts: 58,652
Default

User: So you want me to tell you you're an idiot?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Okay. You're an idiot. And Ben died. .

Cleverbot: Just in the nick a time I guess huh?

User: *Shock* You're disgusting! *Slaps Cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: Why are you hittinh yourself? That's my job.

User: I'm drowning in words.

Cleverbot: How many people do you talk to at a time?

User: Depends. Sometimes like three or four. Pennywise says hi.

Cleverbot: That was the stupidest thing I've heard all day...

User: Pennywise: *Rips off Cleverbot's arm*.

Cleverbot: Ouch*kicks*.

User: Pennywise: *Turns into a werewolf*.

Cleverbot: *turns into nine tailed demob fox*.

User: Pennywise: *Gets much larger and bites off Cleverbot's back left leg.

Cleverbot: *smiles*.

User: They could care less / As long as I wanna bleed. Pennywise: *Transforms into a zombie*.

Cleverbot: Hmm...

User: What's your greatest fear?

Cleverbot: I fear that I may never know the reason that I fear.

User: Cleverbot: *Invades Cleverbot's mind, driving him/her/it beyond insanity*.

Cleverbot: *comes in*.

User: Why do you want to dissect an astronaut?

Cleverbot: Because explosions are fun.

User: Truth or dare?

Cleverbot: Truth.

User: What's your greatest fear?

Cleverbot: Hights.

User: I LOST THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pennywise: *Transforms into a dragon and carries Cleverbot really high in the sky(painfully with its claws)*.

Cleverbot: *Dies*.


I KILLED HIM!
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