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  #19921  
Old 10-28-2019, 06:08 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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me: ha ha ha I am fine yes I still miss owen but im definitely not grieving or (dare I say it) traumatized anymore bc the definition of trauma is only reserved for Other People and I am A-Okay

also me: *sees an ambulance on campus and immediately starts shaking and panicking*
dw everyone is ok!!! a kid just hurt his ankle during soccer practice and for some reason two ambulances were called and a bunch of faculty went running up and I saw it out my window and it reminded me so intensely of last year I started losing it for a moment but we are all good
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  #19922  
Old 10-29-2019, 06:38 AM
HannahChen2009 HannahChen2009 is offline
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Originally Posted by Swallowtail View Post
me: ha ha ha I am fine yes I still miss owen but im definitely not grieving or (dare I say it) traumatized anymore bc the definition of trauma is only reserved for Other People and I am A-Okay

also me: *sees an ambulance on campus and immediately starts shaking and panicking*
dw everyone is ok!!! a kid just hurt his ankle during soccer practice and for some reason two ambulances were called and a bunch of faculty went running up and I saw it out my window and it reminded me so intensely of last year I started losing it for a moment but we are all good
it's ok to still feel traumatised, I can't even begin to imagine what you go through everyday. The weight of my words may not be enough to ease the pain in your heart for your friend, but I hope it eases soon. I really do.
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  #19923  
Old 11-08-2019, 12:22 AM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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it's ok to still feel traumatised, I can't even begin to imagine what you go through everyday. The weight of my words may not be enough to ease the pain in your heart for your friend, but I hope it eases soon. I really do.
thanks man. it has gotten a lot easier which is also something ive struggled w/ in a fucked up way (does the fact that things are getting easier mean im moving on? does it mean im forgetting or being a bad friend?) but really its nice to be able to think of him in a way that isn't heart-crushing, you know? like I can laugh at stories and memories and think back fondly on things and its all bittersweet but its not miserable which is nice. I feel like grief kind of robbed me of my true memories of his life and its nice to get those back slowly.
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  #19924  
Old 11-10-2019, 04:36 AM
HannahChen2009 HannahChen2009 is offline
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thanks man. it has gotten a lot easier which is also something ive struggled w/ in a fucked up way (does the fact that things are getting easier mean im moving on? does it mean im forgetting or being a bad friend?) but really its nice to be able to think of him in a way that isn't heart-crushing, you know? like I can laugh at stories and memories and think back fondly on things and its all bittersweet but its not miserable which is nice. I feel like grief kind of robbed me of my true memories of his life and its nice to get those back slowly.
I can definitely understand how the "getting easier" part might get twisted, but that's just your brain playing tricks on you. I didn't know him, but I'm sure if he loved you as much as you loved him, he would be happy to see you heal from your grief.
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