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  #8141  
Old 10-29-2015, 10:20 PM
Ember Ember is offline
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I think he's catching onto me.
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  #8142  
Old 10-29-2015, 10:28 PM
Puckbrina159 Puckbrina159 is offline
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Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict View Post
wait so you are bailing on cotton candy girl or what


also in other news, squishes are getting way too real
Noooo I'm not bailing on her. She's still my best friend and I'm pretty sure I'll always feel something more than friendship for her. I just kind of feel myself pulling away from romantic feelings for her slightly.
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  #8143  
Old 10-30-2015, 08:37 AM
strawberry strawberry is offline
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Originally Posted by Puckbrina159 View Post
Soooo um... there's this girl.
In the past year and a half, I've managed to kind of fall flat on my face as I fell kinda sorta in love with this girl. She's my best friend. She's beautiful, incredibly smart, and just an all around wonderful person. I've gone from flying high and feeling thrilled with this love to being hidden under suppression, self-loathing, and low self esteem all because of this one girl. But lately it's been kind of slipping away. I'm realizing more and more that nothing is ever going to happen there and it's really not worth the pain to let myself continue down this path. While I obviously still care about her very much, I've definitely dialed it down quite a bit. Some days I love her more and some days I feel like it's 100% platonic. It really depends on my mood and hers to be honest. Since I've started to pull back, I already feel so much better. I feel lighter and like I don't have to hide as much. So, naturally, my brain thinks it's a fantastic idea to find my next target. Yes, just as soon as I dig myself out of the trench of self hate and tears, I find a new reason to fall back down again. But real talk, this new crush is literally just me but a better version. She's quiet when she has to be, but goes wild with her friends. She's incredibly mature and has a real sense of humor. And, oh my god, is she gorgeous. I just... I'm frustrated. I know that this new found crush is going to be fun at first, but will inevitably end up just like the other one. But I just can't control it. I KNOW that it's bad, but I just can't bring myself to stop it. Well... I guess we'll see where this leads. Probably no where good.

Another quick thing... I've been thinking a lot about something and I think I figured it out. I was wondering why I'm only ever attracted to guys who are older than I am and why girls are my target right now, and as terrible as it may sound it kind of makes sense. Boys my age just don't take care of themselves. They don't care or put any effort in to their appearance, but this it prime time for girls to become obsessed with their appearance. Not to mention that most boys my age are just extremely irritating. Ughughughugh this sounds so awful of me but does it make sense?????? kind of???? ugh.
hey that's not awful. everyone has their own preferences and you're entitled to whatever you please (: and honestly, your reasons are valid af, at least when it comes to most people. it makes sense.
im glad your decision benefitted you and i hope you're wrong and this new crush doesn't make you want to cry or feel bad, but just remember the happy moments you shared with cotton candy girl (thanks esther that is her new dub on this site) and hope that you'll have that much fun with this new person c: even if it doesn't go well, you can still be friends and i guarantee that when the time is right you will find the right one for you so don't worry too much about when that'll be and just have fun ^u^
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  #8144  
Old 10-30-2015, 09:04 AM
strawberry strawberry is offline
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in other news, is it normal to fluctuate so much between platonic and romantic with one person?? because at first when i thought i had a "crush" on him that was just bc he's cool and i met him once before school started last year and our parents became friends and then found out he was in my english class like "wow fate" and then found out he sings like "WOW FATE" but after we actually started talkin like briefly i realized the crush was just a product of an intense desire to befriend him and left it at that feeling kind of relieved
and for a long time it was just that, just wanting to be closer friends, and this year he's in my english class again as well as both my show choir & advanced choir classes and our parents are talking more and we carpool a lot and just a month ago i was very honestly telling one of my friends that ship us that it's completely platonic and i wasn't lying (she was in my choir class last year tho and i told her abt him when i still thought my want for friendship was a crush so she never let that go)
but now im confused again?? it's getting less and less awkward to talk to him on my part which is great and we see eachother pretty much every day besides the weekend (not that we always talk but..still) and like on both tuesday and wednesday i dreamt about him (it was innocent okay)(not to mention very cute like, everything that happened in the dream was so cute) and i was like okay well this isn't new i dream abt people a lot but like, those dreams were so nice and I was like if those dreams actually happened i would probably be so so happy and i know my feelings aren't entirely platonic anymore bc i end up thinking how i wouldn't mind doing not so platonic things with him and i might even like it (which is a first because im that girl who in the seventh grade might have kissed a boy once when i was immature and dumb and thought kissing was gross and never wanted to kiss anyone after that. but now it's like i wouldn't mind this, this could be nice)
so yeah it's strange and im wondering if this is another "want to be closer to him" moments or if the dreams/thoughts have anything to say otherwise
and (im sorry this is getting increasingly long) it's not jUST A SHALLOW CRUSH NOW I CAN SAY THAT CONFIDENTLY. because it's not just that he's cool and extroverted and people just gravitate towards him and he's fun and loud and likes to sing. (am i too far gone yet) he also just showers me in compliments. not anything about looks or personality or anything but (this might be even better) it's about my singing. he just has so many good things to say about my singing and to be fair most of my choir class does too but just, sometimes he just surprises me and goes out of his way to compliment me and apparently even tells his parents/sister and it just flatters me so much. i know better than to get my hopes up because it's probably nothing special but
like the decreased awkwardness, increased conversation and occasional compliments paired with my sudden rise of self-esteem about my physical appearance does a great job of intensifying my feelings and usually when i get crushes i despise them and everything about life bc it usually ruins everything but this time i just hope i dream about him when i go to sleep and the feelings are nice and make me feel happier (altho that's maybe because i haven't been disillusioned yet but i feel like i can afford to bring my hopes up a little)
is this a real crush? like an innocent, good one instead of one that eats me alive and ruins me the moment it appears? idk but this is a new feeling
and i will stop now because this post is prolly gigantic but yeah thoughts? help out a confused happie child c:
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  #8145  
Old 10-30-2015, 10:59 AM
Puckbrina159 Puckbrina159 is offline
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Originally Posted by strawberry View Post
hey that's not awful. everyone has their own preferences and you're entitled to whatever you please (: and honestly, your reasons are valid af, at least when it comes to most people. it makes sense.
im glad your decision benefitted you and i hope you're wrong and this new crush doesn't make you want to cry or feel bad, but just remember the happy moments you shared with cotton candy girl (thanks esther that is her new dub on this site) and hope that you'll have that much fun with this new person c: even if it doesn't go well, you can still be friends and i guarantee that when the time is right you will find the right one for you so don't worry too much about when that'll be and just have fun ^u^
Thank you! It means a lot that you would take the time to say all of that.
I'm hoping that everything is going to work out and few tears will be shed in the process.

And yes, I approve very much of the name cotton candy girl.
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"We can go weeks without speaking, and then, when my blue moods threaten to turn black, he will show up and tell me my moods are

Azure

Indigo

Cerulean

Cobalt

Periwinkle


And suddenly the blue will not seem so dark, more like the color of the noon-bright sky."


--The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan
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  #8146  
Old 10-30-2015, 07:45 PM
Frostblaze Frostblaze is offline
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I kind of want to say this:

Why is "sleeping with someone" always attributed with sex? Just because you slept in the same bed as another human being, that doesn't mean you had sex with them. There's nothing wrong with me being lonely in bed at night and wanting him to be right behind me, is there?
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  #8147  
Old 10-30-2015, 09:10 PM
Graystorm Graystorm is offline
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Originally Posted by Frostblaze View Post
I kind of want to say this:

Why is "sleeping with someone" always attributed with sex? Just because you slept in the same bed as another human being, that doesn't mean you had sex with them. There's nothing wrong with me being lonely in bed at night and wanting him to be right behind me, is there?
No! Of course there isn't! I know very well what you mean and there is no shame in it. I too, want that sometimes. But alas, it is never to be.
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  #8148  
Old 10-31-2015, 12:23 AM
Frostblaze Frostblaze is offline
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No! Of course there isn't! I know very well what you mean and there is no shame in it. I too, want that sometimes. But alas, it is never to be.
//grabs face - shhhh...it will be someday I promise you owo
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  #8149  
Old 10-31-2015, 01:13 PM
Graystorm Graystorm is offline
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Originally Posted by Frostblaze View Post
//grabs face - shhhh...it will be someday I promise you owo
//kicks//NAUUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE LOKI IS NOT REAL!!!!!! //bawls//
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  #8150  
Old 10-31-2015, 04:35 PM
Frostblaze Frostblaze is offline
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Originally Posted by Graystorm View Post
No! Of course there isn't! I know very well what you mean and there is no shame in it. I too, want that sometimes. But alas, it is never to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graystorm View Post
//kicks//NAUUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE LOKI IS NOT REAL!!!!!! //bawls//
//cries bc i got kicked - duDE THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE OKAY AND ONLY ONE I S RIGHT FOR YOU

WHY CAN'T FICTIONAL BOYS BE REAL OKAY THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW
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