Quantcast Random thing I wrote. Is it any good? - The Writer's Block
Refresh the page...
forums KidPub Home

Go Back   The Writer's Block > Writing > Story Ideas
 FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-25-2015, 06:38 PM
Emaafre Emaafre is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: :poop:
Posts: 485
Default Random thing I wrote. Is it any good?

The air inside is cold, as if there is no one inside to give off at least a little body heat. I can see my breath. My teeth chatter. I pull my arms inside my jacket to keep warm. I need heat.
Behind me, I see the figure of a human walking toward me. But the gold eyes and pasty skin tell me itís not what I think.
I jump to my feet and slowly back away. The creature picks up its pace. I turn around and start running.
Whatever is happening here, it is definitely not good. I need to find another human. And quickly.
"She looks just like you, Jo."
"Good. We didn't want her inheriting the face of an idiot."

- Sierra and Matthew in Jo
Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2015, 01:48 AM
mysterygirl mysterygirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nowhere and somewhere
Posts: 2,343

It's pretty good. Though I feel like there's no... No flow or something, like it's very jerky when I read it. I don't know. That sounded really weird.

Btw love the sig
I made you a waffle

But then I was like...

"I'm hungry..."

(>^_^)> So I ate it.
Reply With Quote

story idea

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:43 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.