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  #19921  
Old 10-28-2019, 06:08 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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me: ha ha ha I am fine yes I still miss owen but im definitely not grieving or (dare I say it) traumatized anymore bc the definition of trauma is only reserved for Other People and I am A-Okay

also me: *sees an ambulance on campus and immediately starts shaking and panicking*
dw everyone is ok!!! a kid just hurt his ankle during soccer practice and for some reason two ambulances were called and a bunch of faculty went running up and I saw it out my window and it reminded me so intensely of last year I started losing it for a moment but we are all good
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  #19922  
Old 10-29-2019, 06:38 AM
HannahChen2009 HannahChen2009 is offline
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Originally Posted by Swallowtail View Post
me: ha ha ha I am fine yes I still miss owen but im definitely not grieving or (dare I say it) traumatized anymore bc the definition of trauma is only reserved for Other People and I am A-Okay

also me: *sees an ambulance on campus and immediately starts shaking and panicking*
dw everyone is ok!!! a kid just hurt his ankle during soccer practice and for some reason two ambulances were called and a bunch of faculty went running up and I saw it out my window and it reminded me so intensely of last year I started losing it for a moment but we are all good
it's ok to still feel traumatised, I can't even begin to imagine what you go through everyday. The weight of my words may not be enough to ease the pain in your heart for your friend, but I hope it eases soon. I really do.
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  #19923  
Old 11-08-2019, 12:22 AM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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Originally Posted by HannahChen2009 View Post
it's ok to still feel traumatised, I can't even begin to imagine what you go through everyday. The weight of my words may not be enough to ease the pain in your heart for your friend, but I hope it eases soon. I really do.
thanks man. it has gotten a lot easier which is also something ive struggled w/ in a fucked up way (does the fact that things are getting easier mean im moving on? does it mean im forgetting or being a bad friend?) but really its nice to be able to think of him in a way that isn't heart-crushing, you know? like I can laugh at stories and memories and think back fondly on things and its all bittersweet but its not miserable which is nice. I feel like grief kind of robbed me of my true memories of his life and its nice to get those back slowly.
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  #19924  
Old 11-10-2019, 04:36 AM
HannahChen2009 HannahChen2009 is offline
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Originally Posted by Swallowtail View Post
thanks man. it has gotten a lot easier which is also something ive struggled w/ in a fucked up way (does the fact that things are getting easier mean im moving on? does it mean im forgetting or being a bad friend?) but really its nice to be able to think of him in a way that isn't heart-crushing, you know? like I can laugh at stories and memories and think back fondly on things and its all bittersweet but its not miserable which is nice. I feel like grief kind of robbed me of my true memories of his life and its nice to get those back slowly.
I can definitely understand how the "getting easier" part might get twisted, but that's just your brain playing tricks on you. I didn't know him, but I'm sure if he loved you as much as you loved him, he would be happy to see you heal from your grief.
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  #19925  
Old 12-08-2019, 06:03 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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Dude I don’t need big dreams. Forget traveling the world and being a free spirit. Literally all I want is to graduate college and get married and have some kids. This is not how I expected to feel at 18, but I’ve also never been happier.
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  #19926  
Old 12-08-2019, 08:53 PM
Gracithe1andonly Gracithe1andonly is offline
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Dude I don’t need big dreams. Forget traveling the world and being a free spirit. Literally all I want is to graduate college and get married and have some kids. This is not how I expected to feel at 18, but I’ve also never been happier.
dude. . . about to be 18 and I feel this, don't have anyone in my life atm but if I wanna get married I think I wanna do it young

on travelling the world: I don't wanna go away to college, I already have a good life where I am, just let me stay in my city and learn stuff
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  #19927  
Old 12-09-2019, 07:02 PM
SilverMoon SilverMoon is offline
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I absolutely don’t understand where either of you are coming from but I support you.

Me and my boyfriend BOTH have big dreams that we’re going to fulfill together.
However, having him also means that I have experienced the character development of being ok with residing in the United States and not constantly moving. Still going to have a chateau in the Alps and travel a lot tho
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  #19928  
Old 12-09-2019, 10:00 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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Originally Posted by Gracithe1andonly View Post
dude. . . about to be 18 and I feel this, don't have anyone in my life atm but if I wanna get married I think I wanna do it young

on travelling the world: I don't wanna go away to college, I already have a good life where I am, just let me stay in my city and learn stuff
Oh HECK yeah. Thereís a lot of judgement towards marrying young because 18-20year olds are hella immature, but honestly I donít find that an inherently worrying thing. Of course youíre both young and immature, but youíre both going to mature as time goes on, together.

Honestly thatís so reasonable too. Travel is good and fine, but thereís something pretty great about planting roots and making your city your home on your own terms.

@ena you are also valid, n character development is bomb.
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