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  #17251  
Old 06-07-2015, 09:31 PM
Puckbrina159 Puckbrina159 is offline
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wheN YOU COME UP WITH A REALLY AWESOME STORY IDEA BUT KNOW THAT YOU COULD NEVER WRITE IT TO IT'S FULL POTENTIAL

AUGHHHHHH

actually I don't know if it's actually a good idea but hear me out. So a woman is in a coma (or something that keeps her from being awake) for like a decade until she finally gets better and then she has to totally readjust her life because of how much the world has changed since she was awake. Idk it needs some development and also I'm not sure if being in a coma for that long is even possible.
Sorry this makes no sense I just needed to type that.
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Cerulean

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Periwinkle


And suddenly the blue will not seem so dark, more like the color of the noon-bright sky."


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  #17252  
Old 06-07-2015, 10:24 PM
Swallowtail Swallowtail is offline
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Default I don't even know. Just a stupid rant.

Ok so I had my dance recital today and that went well and afterwards some of my family was there and that was nice and they gave me a small little thing of flowers and that was nice too but then they start talking about what we were having for dinner and I kind of wanted to go somewhere or just have a nice dinner at home because this only happens once a year and is kind of special. But neither of my parents really wanted to cook anything or go anywhere so they ordered takeout. I didn't really care, I just felt kind of disappointed but whatever. My brother couldn't make it to either performance and so my dad went to pick him up and we all met at home with my grandmother. The whole time we were eating they were just all talking about how my brother's game went and how he's a good goalie and how he won a shootout once. I thought I had done well at the recital, and I was kind of hoping to be able to talk about it a little, or something that's not talking about my brother. So after dinner I went and read, and I was kind of still hoping we could maybe do something special. I was just sitting on my bed, and then my brother came in, and told me its was bedtime and to go brush my teeth. So I went and got ready for bed while my mom drove my grandmother home, and by the time she got home I was done taking my makeup off and all and I was all ready for bed. By this time I was pretty sure that we weren't doing anything special or anything but I was still kind of stupidly hoping. But no, I got in bed and then reading time and I know I sound like a stupid brat but I just really wish we could have done something. Every time my brother has a concert or anything we always go out for ice cream or dinner or something and I just feel really just disappointed about this whole thing idek what I'm saying I just wish they had tried to do something kind of nice I mean we rarely have takeout and sometimes I think I see my grandmother more than my parents and we talked about my brother and I just feel like no one cares ignore this I'm just selfish I guess.
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  #17253  
Old 06-08-2015, 02:18 AM
lvhamsters lvhamsters is offline
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And this comes the last week of school. I guess I should be happy because of summer and all, but I realize now that even my summers can't be carefree like they used to be. My brother's graduating this year. He's decided to join the military and he went on and enlisted already. He's found something honorable to do with his life. Him leaving is not only upsetting, but it's a constant reminder that I have a year left to decide what I want to do with my life. Then high school is over. I know I need to work this summer and sign up for scholarships, but I'm still clinging to this last year of childhood that I have. I'm scared of the world and I don't know what to do with my life. I want to pursue art, but I can't make a living on that alone. I want to travel, and I've found out that flight attendants can fly for free whenever they're off, but I don't want to be stuck on the little tin can of an airplane my entire life. I want to do something honorable, but at the same time, I'd like to be happy. it's funny how life is so short yet we have go tirelessly work through it all with so few hours of time to just sit back and enjoy life. Life's pretty sad if you really think about it.
Growing up sucks.
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  #17254  
Old 06-08-2015, 05:59 PM
july3girl july3girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by venika View Post
tw probably whoops
idk okay so i'm going to be going to this competition thing in a couple of weeks w/ my friends and i'll be meeting one of my closest internet friends and it was going to be great okay

but it turns out we're moving countries and. and the school year has already started there which means

i'll be ending this year and having a week of holiday before starting ninth grade straight after and i can't do this i cant im already so fucking stressed bc i have 10 things to do due in by next sunday and ive done just abt zero ive been feeling sick for like the last 3 weeks bc idk even its just ?? constant owrry i cant calm down i cant sleep th eonly thing that helps me relax is thinking of wsc and thats going to be over soon and i just

i dont have the energy to go right back to school this has literally been the worst school year of my life i nearly tried to kill myself in january and this is the worst ive felt since then so like haha i m s o done i just

i cant go back to school i cant and i just had a panic attack?? idk i calmed down after awhile and then i started thinking abt it again and then i couldnt breathe and suddenly nothin gfelt real it was like idk just suddenly like nothing was real and i cant describe it any other way and it was really fucking scary idk? thankfull y it only lasted for like 30 secs to a minute but idk idkidk i feel ter r i b le lmao sigh

Oh, wow. OK. Um, well, if it's really that horrible (It sounds like it is) you should talk to your parents about it. Tell them you need a break because it would be devastating to everyone on here if you hurt yourself. And if your having panic attacks you need to get help.

OK, I know it's hard to talk to people about stuff but you need to do it, it's going to help you so much just explain to them that you need more time to regenerate.

If it makes you feel better, my sister was having a super rough time in 8th grade (she was battling anorexia and her friends were just being beaches) but after a week in 9th grade she met lots of people that understood her for who she was and they're so much better then her friends from Junior High.

Concentrate on the good things, like how exciting it's gonna be moving to another country and you'll probably miss your friends and your old life but it might be where you need to be right now. Think of this move as a fresh start, as a way to push all of the bad stuff behind you and look forward. I don't know you that well but I know that your extremely talented and no one can tell you that your not because you are amazing and life sucks but you have to work through it because it will get better. I know everyone says all of this crap but it's true and you'll find people who appreciate you and people who will help you out. It WILL get better. You just have to bear through it a little bit longer.
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  #17255  
Old 06-08-2015, 07:14 PM
AlgebraAddict AlgebraAddict is offline
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what is the point of a summer when you don't have anyone to summer with
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  #17256  
Old 06-09-2015, 09:45 AM
july3girl july3girl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlgebraAddict View Post
what is the point of a summer when you don't have anyone to summer with
Oh god I feel you. All of my friends are hanging out together and I'm just like :'(
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death doesn't discriminate
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it takes and it takes and it takes
-leslie odom jr and lin manuel miranda, "wait for it," hamilton
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  #17257  
Old 06-09-2015, 04:08 PM
meerkat meerkat is offline
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I'm broken and incomplete bc aro/ace and I'm going to cry
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  #17258  
Old 06-09-2015, 05:09 PM
rebecca rebecca is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meerkat View Post
I'm broken and incomplete bc aro/ace and I'm going to cry
You are not broken, nor incomplete.
Being hella awesome has nothing to do with orientation. Unless we're talking about physical orientation in which case orient yourself towards the North and your awesomeness will raise by like 10% doesn't sound like much? Just try it!
But in all seriousness, you're not broken. No matter what the wastes of skin around you say. They're WASTES OF SKIN. That's all there is to it.
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  #17259  
Old 06-09-2015, 09:00 PM
Lena Lena is offline
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yeah lena just go and fuck things up good idea
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  #17260  
Old 06-10-2015, 09:17 AM
HannahChen2009 HannahChen2009 is offline
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lots of things going on in life rn, i'm lost.

1
my english teacher is bae and i love her a lot but a couple of weeks ago one of my friends cheated on a test. i was terrified that if he found out i was the one who told on him he would hate me forever, so instead i told my teacher that another person cheated so it would be traced back to him.
she was very disappointed in me for doing so, although she acknowledged the courage for even bringing it up at all. she assured me that i'm still her favorite student, but she said i needed some time to chill. (we have special assistants for each teacher, and i was the one with that job at the time) so she was going to find someone else to finish the semester for me. i was very upset about this tho i knew it was my own fault more than anyone else's, so i just said it was fine, i understood, and i even told her who i thought was very good for the job. (she ended up using those two people)
um anyway although the matter was solved and behind me, i still get really upset about it and it has been the cause of many mood swings and the funk i was in from then on.
and most of the sadness wasn't the loss of the job itself, but the disappointment in myself and knowing that i couldn't change anything that already happened like im literally so infuriated with myself

2
i am struggling with monophobia, basically whenever i have attacks i need to find two specific people (it's two for me, maybe more or less for other people with monophobia) in order to calm down. the symptoms of the attacks are often nausea, panic, anxiety, stress, increase of heart rate and others, (so basically a mini panic attack) and it won't calm down until i've found the two specific people or until the attacks pass by themselves (the longest attack i've had lasted for three hours and i was terrified, the shortest a couple of moments). so that's kind of hard for me, being away from them, and also knowing that i could have these attacks at any given time. (i've just arranged to talk to one of my school's counselors who i really like but not as much as my english teacher, so i hope it'll be over soon)

3
it has to do with the two people i mentioned in 2- they're my best friends and for matters of convenience i'll call them 4 and 14. (i'm 24, we call ourselves the 4 family) so anyway, 4 is this idiot and jerk but he has a cute personality most of the time, he just doesn't know when to stop sometimes. 14 is more quiet and reserved, and i'm in the middle- peppy, but knowing when i'm overstepping my boundaries. (i'm not an exile in my class like i was in 6th grade, so my personality has changed a lot from when i first joined or so)
all of us have a careful eye- from the most observative to least- 24, 4, 14
in terms of carefree-ness, most-least would be 4 24 14
and in terms of jerk- to non-jerk, it would be 4 14 24 (14 can be a jerk by ignoring people and making people *coughcoughme* worry about him)
and in terms of insecurity, the three of us are all very insecure, and all three of us care too much. but we look out for each other, and we balance each others' traits out, holding the others back when necessary and succumbing to having fun also when necessary. we also give each other a sense of security even though we're insecure ourselves, because the 'care too much' trait that we share induces us to watch out for each other at all times, therefore granting the sense of security. they're my best friends and honestly i couldn't be more grateful for their position in my life and i couldn't imagine senior high looming before me without them. (which, of course, will inevitably happen.)
but anyway 14 has been a little too insecure about 4 being too close to another guy we'll call A that 14 dislikes because of complicated affiliations in the past. A really likes 4, and will often go to 4's side and chat with him. 14 seemed to think that A was moving in on 4, and when i saw A and 4 talking together in class today, 14's face was terrifying and he wouldn't talk to 4 or me for the rest of the day even though i did nothing. and although by the end of the day they'd made up without saying anything, i'm still afraid that they're on the brink of fighting and i'd loose my only anchor to happiness.

so if you read this far, thank you.
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