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  #1  
Old 09-17-2012, 11:58 PM
Tiresomehoopla Tiresomehoopla is offline
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Default A story involving a gang known as MS13...

Anyways, after a giant large scale arrest of ms13 members, ms13 is out for blood. Now, police discover a plot for a widescale attack in response. It's down to one Swat team to uncover it and stop the attacks. If they fail, the consequences will be disastrous...
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Old 09-18-2012, 12:45 AM
EmmaR EmmaR is offline
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MS13? Like, the Salvadorian prison gang?
(They're Salvadorian, right?)
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Old 09-18-2012, 10:37 AM
Tiresomehoopla Tiresomehoopla is offline
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Originally Posted by EmmaR View Post
MS13? Like, the Salvadorian prison gang?
(They're Salvadorian, right?)

Yeah I think.

I need to brush up on their history if I write this though.
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Old 09-19-2012, 11:21 PM
Tiresomehoopla Tiresomehoopla is offline
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Um...Any feedback?
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:06 AM
EmmaR EmmaR is offline
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Hm...
To be honest, I think it needs a little individuality. Right now, you have the swat team and MS13. You need Jeremy, the special agent or Enrico, the MS13 guy who calls all the shots. You need a person, a character that stand out, that the reader wants to care about.
I think it's a really good plot, though, and if I was a fan of crime drama writing I would totally be bothering you to start writing it. *That doesn't sound weird, does it? It sounds like it could come off as insensitive... it's not*
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Old 09-20-2012, 07:14 PM
Tiresomehoopla Tiresomehoopla is offline
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Originally Posted by EmmaR View Post
Hm...
To be honest, I think it needs a little individuality. Right now, you have the swat team and MS13. You need Jeremy, the special agent or Enrico, the MS13 guy who calls all the shots. You need a person, a character that stand out, that the reader wants to care about.
I think it's a really good plot, though, and if I was a fan of crime drama writing I would totally be bothering you to start writing it. *That doesn't sound weird, does it? It sounds like it could come off as insensitive... it's not*
That could be...I guess the guy who's in charge of the squad could be the main guy?
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Old 09-20-2012, 11:59 PM
EmmaR EmmaR is offline
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That could be...I guess the guy who's in charge of the squad could be the main guy?
Sure, I think that'll be great!
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