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  #1  
Old 05-06-2009, 06:59 PM
Rachel Rachel is offline
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Unhappy I have a friend problem...

Okay, so there's this girl that I've known since second grade. We've been best friends for five years now, but this year, I got a bunch of new friends. I like them way more than her, and I don't want to hang out with her anymore.
She used to sit at our table at lunch, but noticed that no one wants to talk to her, so she left. I'm trying to ignore her, but she keeps sending me and my friends notes in our binders asking what's going on. We never respond, and now she's being all clingy and annoying.
I want to tell her I don't want to be friends anymore...but how do I do that without majorly hurting her feelings? Plus, she has to come to my house once a week for art class.
It's a complicated issue.
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Old 05-06-2009, 07:18 PM
Kiwara Kiwara is offline
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The last thing- especially girls- anyone wants to feel is being left out. Personally, if you can dispose of your supposed best friend so easily without thinking of how she may feel because of your decision, then maybe you weren't friends with her from the beginning. I'm sorry, but friends are for life. They're the people that can get you through everything. If your sobbing your head off, your best friend's going to be there for you, but if you dispose of your old friends just because you got new ones, that's like throwing your shoes away after they get dirty or worn out and replacing them with new ones that are exactly the same. Try spending time with her and your new friends, if they don't accept the fact that you're hanging out with her, then they aren't your friends. I'm NOT saying who is your friend and who isn't, but merely stating the facts that I personally go by. I know what's it's like to be left for dead, so to speak and if I were you, I would continue to be friends with her. Otherwise, your life is going to be miserable whenever she has to come over for art.
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Old 05-06-2009, 07:34 PM
Rachel Rachel is offline
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I get what you're saying, but that's not what I meant. I don't like her anymore. I don't want to spend time with her anymore. It's not 'cause my other friends don't like her, it's just I've changed, and she's stayed (dare I say it) immature.
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Old 05-06-2009, 07:43 PM
Kiwara Kiwara is offline
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Ah. I see know. I understand and quite frankly I'm not sure how to go about with that. The most you can do is talk to her. Yes, that would and will be difficult for her to take, but at least you can get it off your chest. I don't know if that would be the appropriate way to go with that, but to me that seems the least painful.
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Old 05-06-2009, 07:55 PM
Rachel Rachel is offline
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I would talk to her, but she comes over my house every week. Thanks for trying to help.
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Old 05-06-2009, 08:03 PM
VanessaP VanessaP is offline
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A similar thing happened to me. There was this girl who was really annoying and unpopular. My group is considered well-liked and everyone thought she was ruining our reputation. This girl had been my friend forever and I began to feel bad for her because honestly I was her only friend. So my advice is instead of leaving her out, bring her in. Try to make her as popular as you and give her advice. Tell her that you want her to act more mature. My friend is exactly the same way, and because I helped her, she's one of the most popular girls in the school. Be the better person and help her. It'll make both of you more happy if you do that. You will feel happy because you will have a "new" friend and she will have a new reputation. You definatly don't want to hurt her feelings, but you will realize that she will be a more loyal friend and really look up to her and be honest with how you feel. She will be able to fix the problems you're having with her without completely changing.
Things to keep in mind:
>Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.
>She doesn't have to be your best friend, but you don't want her to not like you. REMEMBER: Use your popularity for good, not evil.
>A true friend will never ask you to change. And you would be willing change your life for a true friend happiness. (This is very important)
>Lastly, you want more rather than less friends. Even though you might not see it now, if this girl seems to be unpopular, a lot of people may extremly value her. If you say something mean to her, a lot of people could easily turn against you. (BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL OF THIS!!!)

This is just advice; you dont have to take it but if you don't, make sure you're not mean to her. Girls feelings are easily hurt and you wouldn't like it if it happened to you.
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Old 05-07-2009, 03:56 PM
Rachel Rachel is offline
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Uh...I'll try.
I'm not popular, me and my friends are sorta loserish even though we dress preppy. We just spend all our time together.
Both of you are giving good advice but it's just the thing: I don't really want to see her anymore. I would be happier getting rid of her. Does anyone know how to do that?
Thanks anyway, though!!
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  #8  
Old 05-07-2009, 04:08 PM
VanessaP VanessaP is offline
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Not sure. Don't be mean just drift away from her.
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  #9  
Old 05-08-2009, 01:40 AM
iluvsports11 iluvsports11 is offline
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Default My two cents...

I just think that maybe the reason why she is being "clingy and annoying" is because you're leaving her out. I know the feeling, though. Its hard when you jsut don't really want to be around her.

I have found, however, that people are generally better outside of school. So maybe you don't have to include her as much (but I wouldn't be as mean as you are being to her now, because, seriously, you're being mean) at school, but you can invite her home to hang out or whatever. It'll make her feel more accepted, and you don't have to be wondering what your school friends think of her...
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Old 05-20-2009, 08:37 PM
De-Ecrivian De-Ecrivian is offline
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Actually, I had a situation like that. I really didn't want to hurt them, so I saw them when I had to, acted polite, but not like I would with my best friend, and we naturally drifted apart. Now we're aquantinces and no one got hurt (unless they're hurt and are REALLY good at hiding it)
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