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What Do You Mean, a Week?

What Do You Mean, a Week?

by Hanna S

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” It was there, I didn't want to believe it, but it is there. “Ahhhhhh!” the sharp shriek reached me once it saw me. “Ahhhhhhhhh!” This was going to be an interesting dialogue. I jumped up, chucking the book at it. She swiftly dodged the book, her wings flapping ferociously. Once on my feet, my eyes huge and perplexed, I started the screaming again. This time she looked at me with soft creases charming her surreal expression. After looking around she turned back to me frowning, “Not again,” she sighed. Her voice was a silky wind chime voice, exactly as I imagined it to be. She landed on the fallen book with the softest thud, a pout forming on her lips. My moment of shock had passed, “What do you mean, again?” I asked.

“Well, the same thing happened about forty-six years ago. I was happily playing in the forest when poof,” as she said the word, she threw her hands in the air allowing super natural glitter to bellow around her small body, “I was here, in this mortal world. For a week too, might I add.” She gave a sarcastic grunt at the back of her throat, then slumped down to sit on the book.

“A week? What do you mean, a week?”

“Oh, you're one of that lot then? Okay, let's see... Well a week is broken up into days you see-” “I know what a week is,” I snapped. “I just mean, why a week?”

“I'm not sure actually, I think that's how long it takes for the magic to wear off, you know?”

I stared at the little creature in disbelief. How on earth was I suppose to keep a fairy hidden for a week? “How did you even get here?”

“You read me out of the book,” she explained simply, tapping the book.

“Jordan!” my mother called from down stairs, “You're going to be late for school!” Oh, great. School.

***    ***    ***    ***    ***

Diary entries by Jordan Smith:

Monday, 6th March
7:38    Gagged fairy and tied her to the foot of the bed. Bolted door with anything and everything I could find. 7:45    Doubt fairy will manage to escape.
9:52    Found fairy in back pack eating my peanut butter sandwiches.
10:05    Received suspicious looks from peers after harshly shouting at fairy (who was still hiding in back-pack.) They must think    I've gone loopy.
11:23    I must be mental. I saw my possessed pencil flying around the classroom about to stab Alice Martin.
11:25    Received detention from teacher.
11:27    Noted that I must still be sane, saw fairy smiling ruthlessly at me from behind the angry teacher's back.
15:47    Fairy stole my bus ticket, had to walk home in the rain.

Tuesday, 7th March
8:03    Stupid fairy switched off my alarm clock, was late for school.
8:38    Received further detention from maths teacher after 'forgetting' my maths book at home. Fairy tossed my maths, science and history book to make room for her own desires. 11:45    Mike Newell looked at me funny after I negotiated with flying scissors. (In actual fact, I was holding the scissors back, the fairy decided that today was a perfect day to stab Mike) 12:46    Avoided contact with anyone because of rabid fairy.
15:57    Fairy didn't steal bus ticket but was pestering the kid who was sitting in front of me. I was kicked off the bus.

Wednesday, 8th March
7:52    Fairy must be making amends. Wasn't late and I have all my books safely in my back pack.
8:05    Realised fairy was just as evil as ever. She cut a huge hole in my pants so that the world could     have a clear view of my posterior.
8:06    Ran to bathroom to hide from humanity.
17:48    Stayed at school. Missed all my lessons and bus ride. Was chased out of bathroom by janitor and took the long way home.

Thursday, 9th March
7:32    Told Mom I was sick with the flu. Maybe this way the sneaky fairy would stop being so destructive.
9:08    Couldn't find fairy anywhere. Hope against all odds that she won't cause mayhem.
13:37    Fairy came home with a sickly sweet smile spread across her gorgeous face. Oh boy.

Friday, 10th March
7:46    Terrified about returning to school.
8:04    Found myself in the bathroom again. Too distressed to converse the horror. May have to move States.
10:58    The fairy enlarged a picture of my butt on an A1 page and hung it on the flag pole labelled: Jordan's Butt. Then pasted embarrassing pictures of me from my infancy straight through to my teenage years all over school. I don't think I shall ever return home. I'll be quite content staying right here, in this stinky bathroom.
17:52    Was physically thrown out of the bathroom. Guess I'll just stay locked up in solitude in my pathetic closet then.

Saturday, 11th March
8:26    Woke up today with a real stiff neck. Wont sleep in closet ever again. Spiders.
8:32    Realised that this was probably the best day of my life, the fairy was leaving tomorrow. Celebrated by giving myself an extra foamy bath.
9:08    The fairy cut up all my cloths. Was forced to raid my fathers' closet. Found an old pair of stinky sweats there.
13:48    Fairy spent all day doing insipidly horrible things. My own mother hates me now, I saw her looking at adoption adds.

Sunday, 12th March
6:07    Couldn't sleep. Too excited on the fairy's departure.
7:08    Counting the seconds. 8:03    Counting the minutes.
10:34    Counting the hours.
11:45    Fairy seemed very disappointed when she said, “I should have been gone by now.”
12:09    Can't believe she's still here.
13:47    May start crying soon if she doesn't disappear.
14:28    Started crying.
15:49    Stopped crying.
16:53    Can't believe she's still here.
12:00    Wrote letter to parents:

Dear Mom and Dad.

I've decided to live with granny. Please do not be alarmed. This past week I've been haunted by a demon spawn and she has not left yet. I will never return. Thanks dad for the sweat pants. Yours faithfully


AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i love this story <3

Posted by Lil Megz on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 09:40

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i love this story <3

Posted by Lil Megz on Tue, 07/14/2009 - 09:40

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! The end was just sooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."--Les Brown

"How can thy ground that which is...un-groundable?"--Butters from South Park

Posted by nikki11 on Fri, 07/24/2009 - 21:47
Hahaha, that is a very funny

Hahaha, that is a very funny story!

Posted by Andrew on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 22:56
Help me back on my chair! I

Help me back on my chair! I have fallen off laughing. Wait! My mum says she can see my underpants!!!

Posted by Yavanna on Fri, 06/29/2012 - 07:02

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