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Nature, a short story

Nature, a short story

Posted October 1st, 2010 by cloudwriter

cloudwriter's picture
by Rachel
in Forever wishing I could at least visit Brazil, specficially Rio...

October 1st, 2010

* Note: This might be a bit sad for younger children. It's nothing really sad, but just a warning that the end is a bit sad.

I walked along the ominous beach. Shadows were cast along the beach by the swaying palm trees.

The soft sand squished between my toes and made a cushion for my feet.

I reached the edge of the beach, where the water meets the sand. The sun was setting in the distance. It was just about to disappear beyond the horizon.

Sinking to the ground, I curled my arms around my legs. The blue waves gently came in and lapped at my feet. The cool water against my hot skin was a relief.

The gentle blue waves retreat, away from the ominous beach. The waves leave the sand where I place my hands wet.

This shadowy ominous beach has many memories. Memories, secrets, and many horrors. The palm trees rustle and the wind whistles, both of them telling of their knowledge. And I, unfortunately know the knowledge this beach holds.

I know every secret, memory, and horror that this beach holds. And if I could take back one thing in my short and unpredictable life, it would be knowing this beach's secrets.

I pried into the beach's secrets. I forced this beautiful piece of land to tell me all of its' secrets, horrors, and all of its memories.

Nature is not meant to be meddled with, not meant for humans to know its' secrets. It is meant to be left alone, left untouched, and left undiscovered.

And now I broke every rule of nature. I didn't leave the beach untouched. Instead I researched; I touched the beach and left things damaged.

I didn't leave the beach alone; instead I flooded it with people; researchers, friends and family.

And the last sacred law; leave nature undiscovered. And instead I discovered; pried into secrets not meant to be known.

And now I will pay.

I will pay dearly for all my research. The trees know it, the wind knows it, and even the sand knows it.

I am lost on this beach. There is no way for me to get back to my home. Everyone else I brought here managed to get back. But the beach held me back. It held me, the one who started all this research, back. And now I'm stuck here forever. And in a way, I deserve it.

I take in a shuddering breath. I'm weak for I've been here for quite some time now. But for how long, I do not know. For here, on this beach, there is no way of telling time. Every passing minute is like the last.

I cough weakly. I 've been without food and water for a while now. The salty sea water isn't good to drink, and I don't have anything to hunt with.

Laying down on the sand, I face the sky. The sun disappears beyond the horizon, leaving the sky even darker.

Closing my eyes, I know my time has come. And it's my fault that it has come.

As the world starts to float away, I hope that others will not meddle with nature. For if they do, they'll come to the same sticky end that I came to.

I breathe in for the last time as the world completely floats away.

* This was inspired by complete boredom.

See more stories by Rachel
Wow.....I like it!

Wow.....I like it!

Posted by ~Athena~ on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 22:04
Thanks!       You can be





You can be whatever you want to be if you believe in yourself~Me! WRITE NOT FIGHT!

Posted by Rachel on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 22:09
That was VERY powerful

That was VERY powerful Rachel...glad to see you're becomming and active KP member! :) The only CC I have is this, and it's more of a personal preference. I think short stories should be VERY descriptive, it allows the reader to get into the story for what short time it takes to read it. You did a very good job on your description, but, there were a few things you left out. One was her surroundings other than the ocean and two was her appearance...not that important but still. VERY Good though, it's still great and I loved it :)

Kiki:(after Red Queen has a hysterical fit of laughter) Am I missing something?

Neina:I think SHE'S missing something...


Me:That's Neina, she's the socially awkard one

Neina:(from under pool table) I am NOT socially awkward!!

Posted by Ninja Cat on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 22:52
Agreed, this was VERY

Agreed, this was VERY powerful! Amazing job!




Posted by Kay on Sat, 10/02/2010 - 01:07
Ok, thanks for the tip! I'll

Ok, thanks for the tip! I'll edit it in my spare time and add more detail.




You can be whatever you want to be if you believe in yourself~Me! WRITE NOT FIGHT!

Posted by Rachel on Sat, 10/02/2010 - 09:02
’Tis awesome! That beach

’Tis awesome! That beach would be very flooded if it was true…

“When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.” George Bernard Shaw

Posted by L. S. Tredom on Sat, 11/20/2010 - 00:24
As said above this is a very

As said above this is a very powerful piece of writing. I really liked it!

Here is the link to the review, hope you like it! http://www.kidpub.com/story/rachels-short-story-nature-review-505106195 


~Good friends are like four leaf clovers, lucky to have and hard to find. ~

[Standing on a cliff edge]

Jack Sparrow: You know that feeling you get when you're standing in a high place... sudden urge to jump?... I don't have it.

Posted by JennyC on Thu, 06/09/2011 - 04:43


i love the idea, the morqal, everything! i love the ocean, but i want to leave it in peaace, similar to the way it was before i came.

"i find television very educational; whenever someone turns it on, i leave the room and read."- Groucho Marx "Actually if a writer needs a dictionary he should not write. He should have read the dictionary at least three times from beginning to end and

Posted by Luna Eclipse on Sun, 06/12/2011 - 21:58
Wow this is really awsome,

Wow this is really awsome, it kinda reminds me of Ogygia. Exept meaner.

Some just have to chase the sun.

Posted by Annabeth on Mon, 03/16/2015 - 13:19

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