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The Royal baby…in production

The Royal baby…in production

Posted January 1st, 2019 by EllaBella10

by Ella
in Washington

January 26th, 2019

When I was just a normal college student I found the love of my life that would change my life forevermore. Once I was walking in to my university and there was a body guard! I was confused and even more confused when he said, “You must not enter.”
Then all of the sudden a boy my age said, “Ace let her through I’ve got a good feeling about her.”
“You know if you could let me walk through already that would be great.”
I said five minutes after the first bell rang “oh and my name is Rosa Parks who is now late for the first day of college who are
you?” I asked. “I am prince um I mean max.”
I couldn’t help falling for max he had dark blue ireses that looked like deep blue lakes. He also had pitch black hair that was so smooth that if you touched it would make you automatically think of the word kitten in your head. His skin was fair white like silk and his lips so so smooth. Oh and you may be asking me how I know this is because we started hanging out with each other at lunch then after school. Then in the summertime he asked me out and I said yes. The thing was he texted me and said there was a package at my front door. I went down stairs and there was a certainly a package with a note attached to it that said

Dearest Rosa,
Out of all people you shine like the stars in the nighttime sky.
Out of all people you get to my emotions make me laugh and cry.
So out of all people will you wear this dress, these earrings, and this necklace?

Yours Truly
Max <3

I tore open the package and inside it was a gorgeous ocean breeze blue it also was a lace dress with three gems on the front and three on the back. The earrings were made with real diamonds and they were dangling. Then there was the necklace it had a silver chain and three blue gems. When I got to the address he texted me the line was as long as a parade. I told him, “We should bail and just go to Starbucks.” But since it was Max I should’ve known he would get us through there somehow. “Hey Ace lookin good.” Said Max while cutting in front of seventy three people. Yes it’s Ace the tall body guard with white hair that looks forty. When Max went in front of all those people they started shouting at us. When we got in we started to dance I was whipping and naenaeing.


See more stories by Ella
This is a very thoughtful

This is a very thoughtful piece!
A little tip: if you want to make this a chapter book, you can click on "Book, story, or chapter" under the write stories tab. That way, Kidpub will automatically link the next chapter of your story!

Posted by echo (*Jill*) on Wed, 01/02/2019 - 03:52
Thank you for the tip Jill.

Thank you for the tip Jill. When I write more I will use this if I’m writing chapter books thank you very much again. Have a great day.

Posted by Ella on Thu, 01/03/2019 - 11:11
Hey, Ella! First of all,

Hey, Ella!

First of all, welcome to KidPub! It's a little quiet these days, but I'm sure you'll have a good time here anyway. I'm excited to see the next generation of writers growing right here.

I have some comments for this that might help you get better:

1) Anytime a different person talks, you start a new paragraph. It makes it easier to track conversations without getting confused.

2) Don't be afraid to describe, describe, describe! It's better to describe too much than not enough. What does the university look like? What did the guard sound like? Where did Max come from? 

3) Pay close attention to capitalization and punctuation. Make sure to capitalize names (like Max) and use commas to make your sentences easier to read. For example:

"I am Prince-- um, I mean, Max. Just Max." 

is easier to understand/hear in your head than

"I am prince um I mean max."

4) I love "He also had pitch black hair that was so smooth that if you touched it you would automatically think of the word kitten in your head." That is a perfect description that adds personality and life to the story! I have an exact image in my mind of what his hair looks like because of that.

5) Even when you mess up, keep writing. I hope this advice is helpful and not discouraging, because the only bad writing at this stage is writing that you don't actually write. Make mistakes, ask for advice, and KEEP GOING.

Again, welcome! I am SO EXCITED to see where you are going to go! Keep it up-- I will be following this story. ;)

Posted by hector-mae{HawkEye} on Fri, 01/04/2019 - 13:21

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