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Please can you read this?! I REALLY need feedback!

Please can you read this?! I REALLY need feedback!

Posted October 22nd, 2010 by Lenni

Lenni's picture
by Lenni
in my evil laboratory, complete with cloud wallpaper >:)

October 22nd, 2010

This is for a social studies project that's due on Wednesday. It's a journal telling about my trip around Canada. This is the written part of it, (well, part of the written part) and I want to know what you'd give me if you were marking it. I would like criticism, helpful hints, whatever. Just tell me honestly what you think. Please?

Day 1, July 16

This morning I awoke at 5:15 my blaring alarm clock reminding me that today was the first day of my cross-Canada car odyssey. I rolled out of bed and began to get ready. After a hurried cereal breakfast, I packed the last of my things, cuddled my cats for a few minutes, and tossed my bags with careful aim into the large trunk of my Mazda station wagon.

Despite my early awakening, I still managed to be late for the ferry, thanks to the overpass construction at the now-eliminated McTavish road. I managed to make the 7:00 ferry though, and spent the hour and a half ride to Tsawwassen in the gift shop, sampling all the "try me!" hand lotions.

When I arrived in Tsawwassen, I began my drive to the first stop on my trip, Kamloops. Why Kamloops? Because it was on the Trans Canada highway and I had family there. I was going to spend the night with my aunt and uncle and keep driving tomrrow.

I stopped in Chiliwack to get gas and breakfast at Tim Horton's. When I was done, I went to a little boutique store and bought a pair of socks with peanuts on them. Why, you ask? I'd made myself a promise that I would get a pair of socks and something from Tim Horton's in every city I stopped in.

The drive to Kamloops is unique. You drive through the outskirts of Vancouver, then the mountains with their thick coats of pine, and finally through dry, hot, desert hills and tumbleweed. It's amazingly scenic.

I arrived at my aunt and uncle's house and spent the day with them, catching up and talking. I went to bed late, when the heat of the day had lessened, full of pasta and ready to continue my drive in the morning.


Day 2, July 17

The next day was hot, even hotter than yesterday. I said goodbye to my family and headed towards the Rockies. My next goal was Waterton Lakes National Park, Alberta.

Some background history, perhaps?

Waterton Lakes National Park began as a 140 sq. km. protected area in the southwest corner of Alberta. It's size has change over the years, but it's currently 505 sq. km. THe park contains 45 different habitat types, and is one of the last places in North America where Grizzly bears commonly range into the edges of their former grassland range. Waterton Lakes National Park borders on Glacier National Park in Montana. Waterton-Glacier International Peace Park was created in 1932 and became a Wold Heritage Site in 1995.

I turned south into highway 97, topping at Tim Horton's and buying some socks with blue and red stripes on them in Kelowna. I didn't visit my family in Kelowna, saving that for the trip home.

I arrived in Fernie B.C. at 4:00 in the afternoon. It was too late to go to Waterton, so I began looking for somewhere to pitch my tent. I settled on Mount Fernie Provincial Park. I arrived, set up my tent and camp stove, made myself a hotdog and some beans, and went too bed early, tired from my long drive.


Day 3, July 18

THe next morning I awoke only to realize that it had rained last night. It was easy to tell, due to my soaked sleeping bag and tent. I crawled out of my tent, stretching, the fog form last night clinging to the trees. I changed out of my damp pajamas in the car, had some cereal for breakfast, and shook the tent and sleeping bag out and and hung them on some branches in an attempt to dry them out a little. I arranged my suitcases and waited for my things to dry out. When they were damp instead of wet and I needed to get going, I spread the damp tent and sleeping bag on the back seat of my car so they would dry out some more, and headed off to Waterton Lakes.

The park was breathtaking. It's not a word I use often, but that's truly what it was. There was 1.5 billion year old bedrock exposed near Cameron Falls. And as if the drive to Red Rock Canyon wasn't spectacular enough (16 km. of valleys, meadows, and mountain peaks, with wildflowers growing on the roadside), the canyon itself was amazing, the red and green bedrock with rivers flowing through left me staring for at least five minutes.

I saw almost everything the park had offer, from rare and beautiful wildflowers like the Pygmy Poppy to a Grizzly bear on the far shore of Cameron Lake (where I also took a cold, quick swim). I wanted to stay the whole day, but I was on a timetable, and needed to be in Longview, Alberta by tonight. I said goodbye to Waterton Lakes National Park and headed north to Longview.

When I got there, I realized that my sleeping bag was still too damp for me to use, so I checked into the Blue Sky Motel in Longview. I spread the sleeping bag and tent in front of the heater and wrote all this down before falling asleep.


Day 4, July 19

Today I decided to tackle Banff National Park. I left early (it was a six hour drive to Jasper, where I was staying the night) and headed north. I passed by Calgary, debating whether to go early,  but I ruled it out in the end. I was coming back this way, and besides, I was dressed for parks, not Calgary.

I drove through Canmore, got gas in Banff, and then began to explore the park. Banff National Park was the first national park in Canada, born when three railway construction workers found a cave containing a hot spring. I didn't visit the hot spring, deciding instead to continue along the Icefields Parkway, which passes through remote, high-altitude terrain high in the Rockies. I got out to stretch my legs at Mistaya Canyon, got cold, got back in the car, and continued to the Columbia Icefields.

When I got to the Columbia Icefields, I did the tourist thing and went on a guided tour. Melt water from Columbia Icefields flowed into three different oceans. It was amazing to think that when I stepped out of the tour bus onto the Athabasca Glacier, I was standing on one thousand feet of ice, formed by snow that fell as long as 400 years ago.

It was astounding, beautiful, and also very cold. I was filled with a weird mixture of relief and sadness as I got back in the car and continued on.

I followed the Icefields Parkway, along turquoise lakes, icefields, and craggy mountains, until I arrived in Jasper. It was only 2:00 in the afternoon, so I decided to explore some of Jasper National Park today and continue tomorrow.

For today, I decided to visit Sunwapta falls, a torrent of water free-falling down and carving a gorge out of the limestone underneath the footbridge. I had a little scare when a slipped on some of the mist from the falls and almost fell over the railing. This led me to the decision to rent a hotel room and a movie. (A nature documentary. I guess even though I was inside with the TV, I was still feeling connected to the outdoors.) I went to bed, tired from the fresh air, and feeling happy to have seen all the amazing sights I visited today.


See more stories by Lenni
well there is one thing. at

well there is one thing. at the beginning, it says, ''In the morning, I woke up at 5:15 in the morning.'' it should be. ''I woke up at 5:15 in the morning'' or, ''In the morning, I woke up at 5:15.'' which ever way! the rest is really good, though! p.s, i'm writing this on my wii- so sorry about any typos!


Posted by Happie :D on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 18:37
I missed that! Thanks! "Hey,

I missed that! Thanks!

"Hey, what's up with Ryoga? He seems to be dancing in the hallway and laughing maniacally to himself" - Nabiki from Ranma 1/2

Posted by Lenni on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 18:39
I realize I didn't explain

I realize I didn't explain this very well. I didn't actually travel around Canada (if I had that much money, I'd be in Europe) and I can't drive. This is the journal of a hypothetical trip around Canada I take in the future. Kind of.

"Hey, what's up with Ryoga? He seems to be dancing in the hallway and laughing maniacally to himself" - Nabiki from Ranma 1/2

Posted by Lenni on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 18:39
Good job! Peace, Love, Harry

Good job!

Peace, Love, Harry Potter!

Posted by Jean on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 19:05
Great job. Is there more to

Great job. Is there more to this? because it wouldn't be a cross country trip if you only went to two of the ten provinces and none of the three territories. also you stopped in Alberta which is meh, and you should have gone to SASKATCHEWAN!!

anyway this is really great, i've only been to Vancouver and Victoria B.C and i really want to go to Banff someday.


Writing isn't like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything. ~Stephanie Meyer

I love our family, we're all nuts! ~my cousin

Posted by Erica on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 20:39
I live in Victoria! Do you

I live in Victoria! Do you like it here?

This isn't all of it, I'm going all the way to PEI. I just haven't written that yet.

"Hey, what's up with Ryoga? He seems to be dancing in the hallway and laughing maniacally to himself" - Nabiki from Ranma 1/2

Posted by Lenni on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 22:06
I was really young when i

I was really young when i went to Victoria, the only thing that i remember is the sea.


Writing isn't like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything. ~Stephanie Meyer

I love our family, we're all nuts! ~my cousin

Posted by Erica on Sat, 10/23/2010 - 10:04
I think you did a great job

I think you did a great job on these, good job! Sounds like you had a lot of fun ;)




- Kay - Just because I am different, doesn't mean I'm weak. ~~Me~~

Posted by Kay on Fri, 04/29/2011 - 00:45

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