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Moon

Moon

Posted June 9th, 2017 by Lionrose06

by Lillyrose
in Idaho

July 15th, 2017

As I go in the night.....

how how bright.....

Here I am out of sight in the night.

Far away in the gase 

You see me in your dreams

I glow bright In The night all alone...

Plz don't leave me your my only friend

binde with me, we will be together

Like a fether. Be with me forever.

Stars I am... I like you mam. Nice and bright in the night.

Here I go far away,  in a place in the way....

 

 

 


See more stories by Lillyrose
This is very nice :). There

This is very nice :). There is no reason to post it three times, though.

I think you meant to put only one "how" in the second line. I'm guessing you're American since you live in Idaho. In American English, people write words like "gase" as "gaze".

Instead of writing "plz"  you can write the word please.

It's also spelled bind and not binde. 

There are spelling many mistakes, you wrote fether and not feather, and mam and not ma'am.

Despite all the spelling mistakes, I think this is a beautiful poem. Great job!

~1 Universe~9 Planets~204 Countries~809 Islands~7 Seas~ ~~ And I had the privilege of meeting you~~

Posted by Syafai on Fri, 06/09/2017 - 00:27
That was an accident for

That was an accident for posting three times.....

I'm kind of new at this so I'm still learning.

I will try better. : )

Posted by Lillyrose on Fri, 06/09/2017 - 11:35
Why are you being like,

Why are you being like, bossy?

Here in Idaho we can right please

I'm not the best at spelling ok....

 

Posted by Lillyrose on Fri, 06/09/2017 - 11:38
But thx for telling me my

But thx for telling me my mistakes.

It kinda puts extra words there when I don't

even try to so, yah....

 

 

Posted by Lillyrose on Fri, 06/09/2017 - 11:40
Thx for the like but plz is

Thx for the like but plz is just another way to say please.

People do it alot so it's fine. And I know how to write 

words in Idaho, I was born here. Plz don't correct me like that

but thx for the like! And thx for saying g it was nice!

Posted by Lillyrose on Fri, 06/09/2017 - 11:45
I didn't think it was

I didn't think it was bossy.. sorry.

I know that plz is another way to write please, but it isn't proper spelling, it's an abbrieviation from internet slang.

No problemo~ 

~1 Universe~9 Planets~204 Countries~809 Islands~7 Seas~ ~~ And I had the privilege of meeting you~~

Posted by WookinPaNub *Sy* on Fri, 06/09/2017 - 15:18
hi! i think your poem is

hi! i think your poem is really cool! it's meaningful while also rhyming, which is a challenge for many. great job!

now i have some constructive criticism: like sy said, "plz" isn't a very professional way to write "please." in general the idea is that any text speak isn't professional, but of course it's up to you if you want to use it or not. i'd recommend spell checking your work so that we can focus on your awesome poem and your writing capabilities rather than spelling. i annoy everyone on this website by recommending grammarly.com as a spell checker, but it literally saves my life. it's free, and it'll make sure that your spelling is as great as your actual writing! 

also! could you maybe delete two of the posts of this same poem? i know it was mistake, but could you try to fix it? thanks!

again, great job on your poem!

Posted by july3girl on Fri, 06/09/2017 - 16:30
Cool poem!

Cool poem!

Posted by Brooke on Sat, 06/10/2017 - 10:15
I love the sentiments in and

I love the sentiments in and the atmosphere to this poem, it's very good overall! I do agree with other commenters in saying that it'd be easier to focus on the core of the poem and your way with words without spelling/grammar errors, but I also completely understand, haha, I'm not too great at spelling, myself.

some other suggestions would be to regulate the rhyme scheme a little more so it doesn't seem inconsistent, and maybe hone in on the images associated with the feelings you're describing.

that's just my input; overall, I think this is a really lovely piece, and I look forward to seeing more from you!

______
we are words that reject the likes of synonyms.

Posted by Lena on Mon, 06/12/2017 - 11:37
Listen, iv been told that

Listen, iv been told that alot..

I know ok? But thanks for liking it!!!

 

Posted by Lillyrose on Sat, 07/15/2017 - 19:51
Hi, I'm the person who wrote

Hi, I'm the person who wrote this poem.

Please say no more comments of my

Grammer. It makes me feel very bad.

If u are going to tell me something please

say something nice. Thank you for

understand ding!!

Posted by Lillyrose on Sun, 07/16/2017 - 00:10
This is the person who wrote

This is the person who wrote the poem.

Thanks for all the feed back! I really

appreciate it!!

Posted by Lillyrose on Sun, 07/16/2017 - 00:15
I like your poem alot

I like your poem alot actually and to be honest i'm seeing so many comments about the spelling 

I used to do the same thing and never edit my grammar well still sometimes I don't edit as much as i should, but either way i still really love the feeling of the poem 

Posted by Briana on Thu, 10/19/2017 - 23:00
I like your poem alot

I like your poem alot actually and to be honest i'm seeing so many comments about the spelling 

I used to do the same thing and never edit my grammar well still sometimes I don't edit as much as i should, but either way i still really love the feeling of the poem 

Posted by Briana on Thu, 10/19/2017 - 23:00

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