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Remember my two old bad writing stories? here's part 3.

Remember my two old bad writing stories? here's part 3.

Posted September 18th, 2023 by ElizieAngelina

by Agent 4
in The Deepsea Metro (jk, it's Texas.)

September 18th, 2023

“Well, since you’re all here, we might as well spend the night,” Daisy said. Spend. The. Night. In a freaking haunted mansion. Why? I'm actually at a loss for words.

In curiosity, Ana had said, “Spend the night?” 

From the corner of her eye, Ana spotted a ghost invading Luigi’s brain, saying, “I’m invisible now. I’ll haunt you.” Why are you all going to stay if there's a freaking ghost invading Luigi's brain?! If I was there, my first instinct would be to get the heck out of that place!

Still a bit distracted, she said, “Ok then…! I guess my corset will be pajamas…” What Ana is trying to say that her corset is going to serve as pajamas. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF ANA HAS A CORSET!

 Everyone went up the front steps, to be stopped by a Shy Guy saying, “Hey! Not on my watch!” Jesus on a motorcycle, why are there constant road blocks in this story?!

Ana said, “But we reserved here!” I'm just lying to the Shy Guy's face!

Peach said, “Yeah, we are princesses!” 

The Shy Guy clearly wasn’t having any of it, “Stop. You all did not have an invitation.” Thank goodness he stood his ground unlike the ones who died with a single hit from who knows who in this story.

Ana stuttered, “D-Daisy, show him!” 

Daisy said, “Actually-” but Peach slapped the Shy Guy. That assumes that Daisy didn't have a reservation and simply put us in danger by not reserving a real room. What a great friend.

“Disappointed!” Peach scoffed. They all went inside, and hurried into the front lobby. Ana said, “Let’s go to our room.” Daisy yawned, saying, “I’m tired…” 

Ana said again, “Me too. It’s been a long day.” A LONG DAY. All you did was go to a village, meet a bunch of people, get on a boat, and...yeah, that's actually kind of a long day.

Peach said, “I am too. We’ve been walking for a while.” This is something I can agree on. We've literally been back and forth. The pacing of this story is way too fast.

Daisy said, “I’m off to bed. Let’s find our rooms.” 

They were about to go into the door, when Luigi said, “Guys.” 

Daisy and Ana then stopped, and Luigi continued, “Boo has been away in my mind.”

Ana suggested, “Report him or threaten him.” Wow, I clearly didn't understand that this was a ROLEPLAY. That's a bit agressive solution. They then went through a corridor, hurrying into Room 1. 

Mario said, “So, Luigi, I heard you ate the last meatball. DID YOU?” So, all Mario is concerned about is a freaking meatball?! Not the dangers of this place, not the fact that a Boo is in Luigi's mind, A FREAKING MEATBALL. Daisy said, “We aren’t all staying together.” Yeah. There's only two rooms, and I can't begin to fathom how uncomfortable it must be in only one room.

Mario yelled louder, “DID YOU EAT THE LAST MEATBALL?” 

Daisy, under all of the yelling, said, “Mario and Luigi sleep here.” Daisy, how are you so calm during this? Mario is literally rambling on about the meatball and Luigi is probably in agony. He had it the worst in this story.

Mario yelled, “MARIO IS MAD.” 

Luigi yelled to the Boo in his head, “Why are you following me?” 

Coincidentally, the Boo said, “Your greatest fear is a Boo.” I'm just going to dive into canon lore-is it actually a Boo? Maybe. The girls went into Room 2- the one they’d stay in. 

Mario then asked, “HEY? WHERE’S LUIGI?” Why does he want to know where Luigi is if he's so mad at him? The implications of that are alarming.

Ana said, “I don’t know…check the mansion again…”

Luigi then burst in, along with Mario. Luigi exclaimed, “GUYS, BOO IS IN MY HEAD!” 

But Mario kept yelling, “DID YOU EAT THE LAST MEATBALL?” He's that mad over a MEATBALL. Let that sink in.

Daisy said, “We’re changing.” Ana didn’t know what this meant. This actually means that they're changing rooms, but I don't remember this part of the roleplay, so it could have just been an empty saying.

Mario repeated, “MARIO IS MAD.” 


The Boo mockingly said, “Why not? Are you scared of me?” Ana tried to ignore all of it and go to sleep. You are literally being just as inconsiderate as Daisy is.

She could hear Daisy saying, “Can we get some privacy?” and the door shutting. Peach seems to be the only one-if at all-who sees the danger in their situation. 

Peach fell on the creaky bed face-first, and Daisy pointed this out, with a single mutter from Peach, still face- first,“Yeah.” I guess that's not true. Okay, then. By the way, you probably shouldn't lay on your face. She decided this was comfortable and said, “Night…” 

Ana laid in the bed, her head laying in thin air, saying, “There, I guess it’s good.” That is an incredibly painful position to sleep in, and I really can't see just how you think this is good.

She ran the sheets over her corset, and there was one more mutter, “You’re running in thin air.”

They awoke to the quote, “It’s a me, Santa!” Santa. The character I'd least expect to show up in this story.

Ana was confused. She thought, “How the HECK could this supposed “Santa” be here? It’s only November!” Keep in mind that this roleplay actually did take place in November. In a few more months, it'll be two years since this roleplay happened.

Peach got up from the mattress and said, “It’s not December!”

Ana followed this up, “It’s November!” 

Santa just said, “Eh.” 

Tired as she was, Ana flopped in the bed, the right position this time, and went straight to sleep. She faintly heard, “Luigi, we’re friends till the end, remember?” That's like some creepy twisted story where a manipulative villain breaks down a hero. This is exactly it.

Groggily, Ana woke up again, saying, “Let us sleep…” 

Luigi was screaming, so they obviously just weren’t gonna sleep. Now you're going to blame Luigi for your sleeping problems?!

“Just great!” Ana thought. “Dang it.” 

Everyone was then chased out, and Daisy changed into her pajamas.

She laid in the bed, right next to Ana and Peach, and her legs went straight up into the sky. She said, “I sleep with my legs up.” I remember laughing at this too. By the way, the Daisy sprite will fall down with their legs up if you press a command to make her sleep AND also have her in her sitting form. They then all drifted off, and little did they know it would be a rough night.

The next day, at 1 am, Daisy sleepily said, “Ana, stop having a spasm, you’re shaking the bed.” 

Ana muttered, “I’m not.” 

Daisy then said again, “The T pose has me dying…laughing, not to be confused.”

Later, at 5 am or so, Daisy got up and slept on the edge of the bed. “I’m on the edge,” Daisy said. She then fell off, which started giggles all around. What made them stop giggling was Mario and Luigi getting into a brawl, busting into the room. That reminds me of a scene from a movie I saw when I was little, but I can't recall the name. I suppose it was from a war film?

“DAISY, WAKE UP!” Ana said.



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