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A Sonnet to my dog

A Sonnet to my dog

Posted April 12th, 2019 by riboy7

by Orion
in Alaska

April 12th, 2019

Puck

 

Who would want a dog as fickle as you?

Always a jumping around and playing

So happy but you never have a clue

So cute but constantly disobeying

 

Oh how I love my ickle husky gup

Your little, fluffy, fuzzy frito feet

Looking back, calling for me to catch up

Your full coat of fur, not made for the heat

 

But you’re a runner and you run away

You like to chase birds even a rabbit

But your nose pulls you and leads you astray

It is quite fun but quite a bad habit

 

We search for you and call and call your name

You’ll come back but you will never be tame

 

See more stories by Orion
"What make's people so eager

"What make's people so eager to fight me? I guess they don't place much value on my life...Or on theirs." T.A Barron, Merlin's Dragon

Any suggestions on punctuation for this poem?

Posted by Orion on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 01:38
Gosh, this is such a cute

Gosh, this is such a cute thing for a sonnet!

I appreciate you trying out meter. I see you're having difficulty knowing how stressed and un-stressed syllables work. (Don't worry, I'm not judging you at all. The only sonnets I've posted on here are similarly flawed, and even though your meter isn't quite iambic your syllables are consistent, so I'd say you've done a good day's work.) For punctuation, since you have a lot of incomplete sentences going on, I'd recommend some m-dashes, maybe a couple of commas. I think a couple of lines could use a period, but not many.

I hope this was helpful. If you want more detailed advice I'd be glad to elaborate! I've never seen you around KidPub before, and this lovely little sonnet was a lovely introduction. Pleased to meet you, Orion!

____________________________________________________________

Spero quod via tua est directa et quod tuum onus est levis.

Posted by *Snow* on Fri, 04/12/2019 - 21:00

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