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tbh I have no idea what to title this

tbh I have no idea what to title this

Posted October 28th, 2019 by alemye10

by oof.alem.oof
in what?? “The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.”

October 28th, 2019

sorry I’ve been really inactive
but I usually write poetry when I’m feeling strongly about something, and this is one of those times. It’s not “good” poetry, but just my feelings. enjoy :)

Today will be the day
I will speak
And I will not be quiet
But I am silenced
By every glance
In my direction
I bet that
They think I’m weird
They laugh
Probably about me
They whisper
Making fun of me

I know I don’t have to be like this
When I’m with my friends
I’m a firecracker never shutting up
But now
Afraid to start the conversation
Don’t know what to say next
Should I text first
Or will I seem desperate
Afraid to make friends
Everything social
I can be counted out
Although I really want to go
Thinking about the past
Cringing while reminiscing
Waves of nostalgia
Drowning me

Trying to forget
Be myself
But the nervousness
Why do I get scared
Why am I so a w k w a r d
Afraid
But I’m trying not to be

I know every answer in class
But I can’t raise my hand
I don’t do it once
But what will everyone think
If my hand goes up now?
What if I slip up
Or stutter
Or say the wrong thing?

I am mixing up the perfect comeback
I am baking it
But afraid what will come out of the oven
I leave it to burn
And it’s not until later the fire
Of what it could have been
Comes back to bite me

Humiliation
Judgment
My biggest fears
I tell myself people don’t care
But in my mind
They care so little
And so much at the same time
I’m more comfortable (or am I?) imagining what I could be
What I could say
Or do
Rather than
Being what I could be
Saying what I could say
And forgetting about
The thoughts you probably aren’t thinking
But my mind thinks you are


See more stories by oof.alem.oof
I think it's a great piece!

I think it's a great piece! The simple wording makes the emotions you feel more raw to the reader, and I ended up feeling as if I were in your situation at the end of the poem.
I know being social can be a source of anxiety for many people, so best wishes to you. This poem reads like you're still getting used to a new environment, so I hope you break out of your shell and find kind, caring friends soon!

Posted by echo (*Jill*) on Tue, 10/29/2019 - 04:31
Thank you so much! This

Thank you so much! This comment means a lot to me :)
__________
“There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you.”
- Beatrix Potter

Posted by oof.alem.oof on Tue, 10/29/2019 - 05:52

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