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Zombie Birthday (chapter 2) (All These Rides)

Zombie Birthday (chapter 2) (All These Rides)

Posted September 30th, 2020 by ElizieAngelina

by Elizabeth
in Texas

October 12th, 2020

I find more research and figure out that there was another incident that occured at Lunar Kingdom (my party place). There was a 

go-kart ride, and one kid was speeding and crashed into another kid. That is an extraordinary accomplishment, and not in a good

way. I go to school, and Jack gives me the following list of the rides at Lunar Kingdom.


*Train Ride

*Bumper Boats

*Tea cups

*The Smasher (roller coaster)

*An arcade

*Lazer tag

*3d experience ride

"Wow," I say. "That's a lot of rides."

"There were incidents at all the rides," Jack says.

"So that's why you told me I was dead," I say with a tone of annoyance in my voice.

"Didn't want to tell you before," Jack says, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets like yesterday. All of a sudden, an idea flashes to my

mind. Since Jack knows so much about these rides, I'm inviting him to my birthday.


"Yes, Julian?"

"Can you come with me to my birthday?"

"Wow. You really want to sacrifice your advice-giver?"

"Jack, please."

"Fine! But don't expect me to feel sorry when you get your head handed to you."

I feel relieved. Jack is now on my birthday team, and he'll tell us what to do.

At the end of school, I see my friend, Dylan. He's friends with Veronica, and I'll have to tell them about Jack.

"What's popping, Julian?"

"My birthday party is cursed," I say hanging my head down.

"What do you mean?"

"Jack says incidents happened there. Please, don't tell your mom or let Veronica's mom know."

"Oh, I won't forget to tell her!"

"I can always count on you," I say as I let a smile play across my lips. At the same time, my mom's car honks, and I get inside the car.

"So, what's happening today, honey?" My mom says as she starts driving off school grounds.

"Jack gave me this list," I say.

"Show me it when we get home," Mom says, focusing on the road in front of her car. "I don't want to drive off-road."

When I get home, I show her the list as she says, "Wow. I didn't know there was a roller coaster there."

"Me either," I say, tucking the list into my pocket.

"Better keep it safe," I mumble as I shove it into my dresser and lay down in my bed, tired as heck. Before I know it, I'm clocking in for

the night.

See more stories by Elizabeth
Maybe to make it easier to

Maybe to make it easier to get around you could put them all on a Book page or Chapter. 

It would work a bit better. 

instead of deleting the posted chapters, when you post the next chapter, just put that under "Book Page or Chapter." 

When you go to "Write Stories", the second option is "Book Page or Chapter."

Just click that then it is just like a story, but when you want to add just go to the previous page, and click "add a chapter or page"

It makes life easier! 

Posted by Olivinat on Mon, 10/05/2020 - 12:34
Okay, thanks for telling me!

Okay, thanks for telling me! :D Maybe I'll use that for a future book of mine!


Posted by ElizieAngelina on Wed, 10/07/2020 - 10:21
"That is an extraordinary

"That is an extraordinary accomplishment, and not in a good way." HA! That's such a good line! 

Why is Julian not concerned about the curse on his birthday party? He's aware enough to know it's dangerous, but not enough to try to keep his friends from going (and not enough to tell his mom.) Does he not trust his mom? Does he just want the adventure? Does he not care about his friends? Maybe he and Jack are a better fit for each other than I realized. 

In answering these questions (and all the others that you end up posing yourself as an author) make sure to remember to stay consistent. You cannot have a character with opposing traits in the same way at the same time. Jack cannot both care about his friends and not care about his friends.

(A note on complexity: Jack can, however, tell himself he cares about his friends while not actually feeling it. He can want to care about his friends but be aware that he doesn't and hate himself for it. He can actually care about his friends but be under the impression that he does not. You can have opposite tendencies in a character, but not in the same way at the same time.)

Good yard,

(Warmest regards)


Posted by Tía Snow on Wed, 10/14/2020 - 18:10
Anyways, he still wants to

Anyways, he still wants to go YES because of the adventure, he thinks there's not going anything bad to happen.


Posted by Elizabeth on Tue, 03/02/2021 - 15:51

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